Does “Going Out On A Date” Mean?
Copyright 2008 ~ Heaven Ministries Angie Lewis
The word “date” generally implies romantic and
sexual intent. To “go out on a date” for the Christian can be risky
business, if they want to remain pure until marriage. In fact, Christian
“dating” is a misnomer because the word “dating” is a societal
behavior that allows for intimacy and sexual temptations to happen.
In Fact, the word “date” is not defined in the
Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary because there was no such behavior! It
was absolutely unheard of for a woman to be seen with a man alone.
“Gentlemen callers” visited young single women and there was always
a family member present for these social events. Only during the
courtship (engagement/betrothal) period were they ever allowed to be
What’s happened? How has the wholesomeness of
courtship turned into dating? The culture has slowly given way to
God’s principled actions of love for the need to feel a certain way
through the dating ritual. The practice of dating is worthless, it does
not teach principles nor teach how to respect and honor one another in
the preparation for marriage.
“Flee (run for your life) from sexual
immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18)
It is not God’s will that single people have
sexual relations before marriage. God’s will is for young people to
save themselves for marriage because it is acceptable and right. The
reason is simple – for the happiness and sanctity of the marriage
union! Dating almost always generates emotional and sexual abuse in the
long run – it can literally wreck havoc on a young persons emotions
and cause them to mistrust the opposite sex, and feel devalued as a
child of God.
In fact, dating does not prepare anyone for
marriage – it actually deflates and devalues marriage. Why do you
think there are so many divorces? Couples
aren’t prepared for marriage - they are dating when they are married.
The process of dating goes something like this:
2. Euphoria / Desire
3. Mixed feelings
4. Euphoric / Desire diminishing
5. Want out of relationship (what relationship?)
6. Hurt one another psychologically and emotionally, not to mention
7. Relationship ends
8. New partner
9. Dating (sexual lust and desire)
10. cycle starts all over
After several partners in the process of dating, do
you think you would be ready for a long-term marriage relationship?
This is precisely why God wants us to “flee” from sexual
immorality! Flee from “going out on a date”! Run for your life
before it is too late. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
Dating does not prepare young people for marriage
– it really does! Marriage depends on commitment for its sustenance
– without it, the marriage will ultimately fail. Marriage depends on
two emotionally mature individuals who care about each other’s needs
through the principled acts of love. How does dating prepare anyone for
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified;
that you should avoid sexual immorality. (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
what can the Christian single person do that wants to find a spouse for
marriage? They can wait on God. I encourage single people to pray for
that special someone to come into their life? God cares deeply about
your personal relationships and He will answer your prayers in a way
that you may not be aware of. Don’t
“go out on a date” like everyone else – be friends and get to know
each other, always having family and friends with you so you do not get
tempted. Court one another through learning about God’s principled
actions of love. Base your love on those principles and not on feelings.
God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide
a way out so that you can stand up under it”. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
God will bless every single person with a
perspective soul mate when the time is right – We can’t rush God
because marriage and the relationship leading up to it is His business.
Be patient and thankful, for God knows when you are really ready to
commit to marriage.
God’s purpose for Christians is to walk into
marriage with wisdom, love, and commitment for the marriage, not with
emotional baggage from the past, but with respect and honor for the
person you marry. God designed marriage to be a lifetime commitment and
it should be valued with the sanctity and purity that it deserves.
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue
righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the
Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22) Your marriage deserves it.