Sexual Abstinence and Self-Control
Heaven Ministries Copyright 2010


For Christians sexual abstinence is the best policy. I can think of many wonderful and perfectly sound reasons to remain sexually abstinent until marriage, but the greatest reason is because it pleases God; and, as Christ Ones pleasing God should be our first priority.

When we choose sexual abstinence we will be making a choice to avoid sexual activities that could lead to unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional stress and heartache. The greatest blessing is it prepares us for a marriage built on love and commitment rather than on feelings of what we think love is. Sex is not love.

Some people marry with the attitude “if it doesn’t work out they can just get a divorce”. But marriage to God is a serious matter and if marriage is serious to God, the Creator of marriage then we should make it serious to us.

Sexual abstinence teaches us about the beauty of commitment to marriage. When we are not occupied with emotions and feelings of the intimate nature with someone we care about, it gives us a chance to see them for who they really are and work on a lasting relationship that is built on devotion and love to one another.

Sexual abstinence teaches us self-control during times of temptation. We will all become tempted at some time or other in our lives, but not all of us give into our temptations. God lets us know that He is faithful; he will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. He will provide a way out so we can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13) This is great news!

Practicing self-control during times of temptation makes us stronger and wiser in God because it builds character and determination to do what’s right as Christians. Sexual abstinence teaches us to look at the inner beauty of a person rather than only what’s on the outside and what we can receive sexually from someone. It teaches us to wait on God!

The truth is, when dating couples spend so much time and energy on outside beauty they miss out on seeing the true beauty of a person. Why do some people not care about what is on the inside? They do not care about what is on the inside because they have no commitment or love to seek out the inside of a person; all they do care about is getting their selfish desires met.

Many young women today think that if they have sex with their boyfriends that their boyfriends will love them more, or they will never leave them. But nothing is further from the truth. Sex does not preserve a relationship. Having sex with your boyfriend will not make him stay with you. In fact, any guy with any amount of commitment to marriage and love for God will like the fact that the girl he wants to get to know better wants to wait until marriage.

Good guys will not try and have sex with you; Good guys will respect you for wanting to stay pure until marriage. Good guys will want to get to know you even more when they see that you are a self-controlled, Godly woman and that is what really matters.

If you have made the mistake of having sex before marriage, God will forgive you. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it means you were once confused about God’s intention for relationships and now you are not. Let God renew your heart and mind about your purpose in relationships. It’s never too late to bring God’s moral precepts into your life and let His loving principles lead your relationships.

“Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)


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