Love Is Something We Learn From God
Copyright 2010 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis

Real love is exactly the opposite of lust. Lusting after strangers or anyone other than who we are married is being disrespectful to the purity of that person and to the purity of ourselves. No one else’s body belongs to us except for the person we are married to. Real love is something we learn from our spiritual growth with God. Love is a verb, not a feeling. To love someone means to actually sacrifice something of ourselves without asking for anything in return. Without God we cannot love others in the proper ways.

When we carry around the wrong attitude that we can have sex with whomever we please whenever we please (dating) we completely lose the true meaning of what love is. We have no right to step over the boundaries into someone else’s territory and have sex with another person, even if they say it is ok.

Love is not someone giving us attention (flirting) and making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Love is not desire, yearning, or lust. Love is not adultery, looking at porn, receiving goggle eyes from the guys at the office, or having an affair with your secretary. The feeling we get from these things is euphoria mixed with lust and desire. It is called sexual temptation in the bible and God tells us to flee from sexual temptations so we don’t give in to it.

This is where the problem begins. Many people don’t run from this kind of temptation because it “feels” too good to run. They enter into a emotional and sexual relationship that may last two days or two years, but the likelihood that it will prepare you for commitment to marriage or that it will do any good for your emotional stability for withstanding marriage is practically nil.

Here Comes Marriage After Several Emotional and Sexual Relationships: How can it survive?

Because dating makes us feel a certain way, such as lustful and desirous of the one we are having sex with we learn to feel that same way with the person we are supposedly going to marry for life. But what happens after the feelings wear off and you aren’t attracted to your marriage partner anymore? Can you just throw them aside like you did with your dating relationships?

Managing our marriage healing ministry for ten years now one of the most common complaints I get from couples is: “I’m not in love with my spouse anymore”. Or my spouse says he is not “in love” with me anymore” Why does this happen? It happens because they BASED their marriage on the same kind of feelings they based their romantic dating relationships on!!

Now what are all of these married uncommitted people to do? Without the proper guidance they go outside the boundaries of the marriage because they believe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Let me tell you a secret—its never greener, it is a mirage.

Some of these young married couples and older too, believe since they aren’t “in love” anymore they can find an emotional attachment online, others begin to look at porn, while still others commit adultery to fill that need for emotional attachment to someone. All of these things cause numerous problems with couples and ultimately ends in divorce. Sadly, this is the way that dating and romantic interludes have deceived the heart of young people all over the world and they don’t even know it!

It’s truly not anyone’s fault and we’re not blaming anyone. We just want people to realize how this has happened and what they can do about it through the resources on our marriage preparation website. Check out the articles we have written on courting and betrothal. Bookmark our website because we will be writing many more new articles about courting for young people and preparation to marriage.