Is She Marriage Material? Essential Qualities of a Christian Wife

 Copyright 2010 Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Preparation and Godly Courtship

 

Usually when we refer to Godly qualities in women we quote from Proverbs 31. Now Proverbs 31 does have a lot to say on how a Godly woman should manage her household, but many people misconstrue Proverbs 31 to mean a wife having a career outside the home, but nothing could be further from the truth.

The Proverbs 31 woman does not work for anyone but her husband and family--she is not an employee. She does all of her tasks for the wellbeing of her family. She stays joyously busy working for her own family buying with prudence and selling things she makes with her hands, gardening, cooking, etc. Most importantly, the Proverbs 31 woman respects her husband and he is admired as a man of God. She knows her role in the marriage and lovingly submits her life to the man she married.

When we read about the ideal woman and wife in Proverbs we see she has many accomplishments. But I believe that we are only looking at all of the things the Proverbs 31 woman does and not see how she is—her demeanor and inner qualities that make her the ideal wife to her husband. Many women can sew, garden, and work with their hands and still treat their husbands badly or not know what it means to be submissive to their husbands.

When we really study Proverbs 31 we see that the ideal woman has many excellent god-given character traits, such as kindness, compassion, respect, nurturing, trustworthy, discerning, wise, not idle, giving and most importantly she feareth the Lord. She is all of these things for her family first and foremost. Her accomplishments are because of her inner qualities of Christ within her--fruit of the Spirit.

The inner qualities of the ideal woman are something that develops within her over time because she loves God and is faithful to Him in her daily walk and relationship with God. As a Christian woman and wife I will speak for myself and tell you that I still sometimes wrangle with trying to be the woman/wife that God wants me to be. But as a daughter of the Most High I will strive daily to improve my life in Him and I will continue to walk in His ways and learn to be the wife that God wants me to be.  

If a young lady respects and obeys her mother and father, she will most likely be the same with her own husband because it is a quality that she has learned through childhood and her love for God. On the other hand, if a young woman is/was rebellious with her parent’s rules and regulations for her she may have a more difficult time regarding her husband’s protection for her. 

Many Christian women who marry today have this preconceived attitude that she should have a career and can do everything and anything a man can do. She is free to choose to go to war, go to college, have a career, and put her children in daycare if she wants, but this is not why God made Eve for.  Why did God make Eve?

God created Eve to be a helpmeet to her husband, meaning, helping her husband to encourage the family in every way in the Lord, according to his role given to Him by God as head of the family. When a woman rebels against her God-given role she is debasing her husband’s role as head over her and devaluing and disrespecting the position that was meant for him and for herself. This is not how God intended marriage to be. These issues are very important for marriage preparation and something that single Christian men and women need to discuss BEFORE getting married.

We have to be careful when we look for inner qualities in a wife and that we do not only look at what she does and what she has accomplished but how she is in her demeanor and attitude of being a daughter of God and a wife and mother someday—this is what’s important and is what most young men overlook in a future wife.

We tend to look at accomplishments, talents and outside beauty and not “see” the real woman inside. It is because of the Holy Spirit within her that she is able to “know” her role as wife and mother even before she is married and when she is married to accomplish the purpose that God predetermined for her in her marriage.

See our other article written for Christian women called “Is She Marriage Material.”

 It is not good that the man should be alone; I shall make him an HELP MEET for him. (KJV Genesis 2:25)

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