How to Prepare for a
Many people jump into marriage blindly. They have
blinders over their eyes that keep them from understanding how valuable
and sacred marriage is. They jump into marriage as if it were their
first puppy love date. They in fact perceive marriage to be something it
is not. The consequences that result from this impulsive behavior are
Know that Marriage Belongs to God
Did you know that even the unbeliever’s marriage
belongs to God? That’s because God created, designed and established
every aspect of marriage and just because some people do not go by the
principles of God’s design for marriage doesn’t mean God is not
watching what’s happening in their marriage.
Many people when they get married have this silly
idea that their spouse will cater to their every whim and that they will
continually be swept off their feet. But this notion is a misconception
and totally false. The Cinderella, Prince Charming fairytale doesn’t
last, not in any marriage. But with God at the helm of your marriage it
can certainly be a loving and caring union filled with happiness and
The truth is marriage was created for the
Creator. It is not ours to do whatever we please with and this
is why many marriages today do not have God’s blessings in their
marriage. Marriage takes giving of each other and humbleness, just like
Christ gave himself up for us! It takes loving actions and behaviors
just as Christ loves us! As you can clearly see without applying
Christ-like principles in our marriage we will suffer for it.
Know What Love is BEFORE Getting Married
Love is not that first puppy love feeling. Love is
not the lust you feel for someone on your second date. Love is not that
deep desire you have for someone else other than who you are married to.
Love is not a feeling but an action!! Not that you can’t
feel loved by your spouse or significant other but that true love takes
Christ-like principles to complete it, such as forgiveness, submission,
kindness, appreciation, caring, and selfless acts, even when you don’t
feel like doing these things.
To be able to fully love another in the way Christ
loves us is to realize the power of the Holy Spirit within you and then
pray for Christ to help you be a good spouse. Jesus Christ is here
now—He lives within you! There is no waiting for Him to show up on
shiny horse in the clouds—the Kingdom of Heaven is within you! For the
Christian Jesus Christ is our King now!! Loving your spouse in the right
ways will not be easy if you are still living to please yourself. We
should be living to please God through Jesus Christ.
For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating
and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Know What Your Role is in Marriage BEFORE Getting
Scripture clearly lets us know what a wife’s and
husband’s role is in marriage. But couples continue to confuse these
two roles and when they do they are rebelling against God’s design for
them in Marriage. God is the Creator of marriage and we are the
creation—that means we are to manage our marriage in the way that God
created and designed us to manage it and let the Creator direct the
marriage and be our Guide! We need to stop acting like we are God in our
marriage. We need to take ourselves off the pedestal and put God on
there where He belongs!
Two bulls in the same pen will not work, nor will
two cows. What works best, and is the design for marriage, are a bull
and a cow. Someone must take charge and responsibility for the spiritual
aspects and proper function of the marriage, lest there will be
problems. And according to God and history that role has always been
given to the bull and the buck. God made Adam head over Eve, not as a
demanding dictator but as a loving protector and provider.
Husbands are to love their wives in the same way Christ loves us!
If you still don’t know how to do that go back to the “know what
love is before getting married” section of this article.
So the bottom line is if you’re going to get
married some day, know who the Creator of marriage is and realize that
marriage is for God’s purpose and not our own. Let’s please God with
our marriages. And if you are already married then start loving your
spouse! Be love! Be responsible and start taking care of God’s
marriage. Be committed and devoted to your marriage no matter what. Ask
Jesus to help you be a loving and caring spouse that God wants you to be
according to His design, not your design.