How Dating Deceives
Ministries © Copyright 2010
A few days ago a Christian woman told me that she
was tricked into marrying her husband. He portrayed himself as a
Christian to her during the dating period. Do you know why this happens?
It happens because she did not really get to know him on the inside. He
talked a good talk and impressed her with false words and once they were
married he became a different person to her. Dating teaches us to only
see and hear what we want to see and hear and nothing else.
Have you ever watched the show called “keeping Up
Appearances”? It is a very well made British comedy about a
middle-aged, boastful housewife who tries to appear as something she is
not. She wants to look wealthy to others and she does whatever she can
to keep up that appearance. She spends her days trying to impress people
of higher status than herself. Those who really know her such as her
family, friends and neighbors know her real character qualities but she
deceives many other people into believing she is high up on the social
ladder and wealthy to boot.
People Are Not What They Appear
People always put their best foot forward even
though their heart is not that good. While dating people many of them
will put on airs and are not really the people they appear to be.
They are so good at “keeping up appearances that they will trick
people into marrying them. Only their close friends, family and God
really know them for who they are. Don’t let yourself become deceived
through impressive talk of a boaster because you will be sadly
The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD look at the heart. (1
If we want a marriage that will last then we need
to look for the deep inner qualities of a person that we are regarding
as a possible marriage candidate. Besides that, Christians need to be
patient, pray about a lifetime commitment with this person and wait on
God’s guidance. Whatever
happened to seeking someone with commitment and devotion to God,
trustful and filled with integrity and values and inner beauty that
reflects their growing
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a
woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)
Many of us have been conditioned into believing
that we have to have sex with every person that we feel somewhat
attracted to. Many times all we see is how someone looks and other
outward appearances. How trite is that? It’s perfectly fine to
appreciate someone’s outward appearance but we must also go deeper and
look for the inner character of a person and see if we can also
appreciate their inner beauty too? Christians need to wizen up and get
to know a person for who they really are.
Dating Uses Other Sexually and Emotionally
Having sex is a beautiful part of life and should
be enjoyed by all married couples. God wants us to enjoy a healthy,
hearty sexual appetite with the person we married, not with strangers we
are not going to marry. How many times have you met someone and it
developed into a sexual relationship? How many people have you dated
that you did NOT give away your heart, body and emotions to?
this is the will of God, even your sanctification (set apart), that ye
should abstain from fornication.
That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel
(body) in sanctification and honour. Not in the lust of concupiscence,
even as the gentiles which know not God. That no man go beyond
(arouse sexual lust in another) and defraud his brother in any
matter: because the Lord is the avenger of such, as we also have
forewarned you and testified.” (1
How does having sex help you get to know a person?
Christians do not need to arouse passion and lust in one another to
figure out if they will make a suitable marriage spouse or not. Becoming
intimate with someone is not going to prepare you for marriage, but will
in fact destroy any chances of the relationship becoming based on real
love and respect for one another. Having sex will destroy the sanctity
of any relationship.
Dating Teaches People that Feelings of Lust is Love
How does dating teach people that lust is love?
More and more marriages are falling apart because a spouse or both
spouses think they have “fallen out of love”. Have
they really fallen out of love or have they fallen out of lust? In
dating there are three things involved. You meet them. You desire them.
You date (have sex with) them. It takes only a feeling to decide you are
ready to move on and find another person to arouse sexually. Sadly this
is happening in marriage too.
Marriage has become for couples just another date. There is no commitment and no real love to speak of.
How does dating someone prepare couples for a lifetime commitment to
marriage? Couples need to understand that love is always something that
one does and is not a feeling but an action. Dating deceives Christians
because everything about it is a deception. Sincere Christians who want
a healthy lifetime marriage should not date.