How a Christian Should Find a 
Suitable Marriage Partner
Heaven Ministries ~ Preparation to Marriage


For the Christian to have a great marriage means to have a great relationship with Jesus Christ. You must be willing to serve and care for your spouse even more than you care for yourself. This attitude of service in both the husband and the wife will allow for the marriage to prosper and flourish with blessings.

God did not sanctify (set apart) marriage for spouses to be selfish with one another. Good grief, no! Marriage was created and instituted for God’s purpose—your marriage belongs to God. Marriage is a living symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.

As a Christian if you believe that you are ready to care for and commit your life to another in the “ways of the Lord” then the next step is to find friendships in the Lord and wait on God. Be still with your emotions. Don’t let your emotions rule the relationship. That means you have to get dating and the attitudes that are associated with dating completely out of your mind. Dating is not for the sincere Christian to partake in.

Find Friends With Common Interests and Beliefs

God will make aware to you, if you are “still” with your emotions, a suitable man or woman in the Lord. Christian single people should not have intimate attachments with others (date), but rather they should search for like-minded Friendships in the Lord through common interests and beliefs. 

These common interests might be a church activity, sporting event, school function, project or hobbyists event, or a community play; etcetera. At this event you can meet other Christian people that share in the same interest as you. Then you can become friends with them because of that common interest, not because of anything else, such as receiving something from them.

This friendship should not progress to anything further than getting to know each other based on respect. In other words, your feelings for this person do not lead and control your actions but rather follow your actions, where they are kept in check.  

Be Discerning With Your Friendships

You should be very discerning with any friendships you would like to pursue further and possibly for a marriage candidate. Carefully examining a persons character is something a smart Christian will do before allowing the progression of any relationship to be more than just casual friends.

The main goal in any new friendship is not to allow your feelings to control the relationship. Keep God always your main focus as the relationship develops.  If you feel that you are unable to keep your emotions in check for this person then you must pray about it and ask God to give you the direction you need.

Be Still With Your Emotions

Be still with your emotions and wait on God. God will certainly let you know if this person is the one to make a lifelong commitment with. The only time you should allow your emotions to take over and give your heart to another is “after” you have made the commitment to marry and are betrothed (engaged).

God wants young people to remain emotionally pure before marriage just as He wishes them to remain sexually pure. Mary and Joseph were betrothed for a couple of years before they actually got married but they both knew that soon they would be married and because of that they most likely gave each their hearts.

Sexual intimacy should be reserved for the big wedding day. This is God’s will for the sincere Christian. I don’t think you will ever regret saving yourself for the man or woman you will spend a lifetime caring for and loving. It is the way of the Lord and many blessings will surely come your way. 

 Copyright © 2010 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis


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