For the Christian to have a great marriage
means to have a great relationship with Jesus Christ. You must be
willing to serve and care for your spouse even more than you care for
yourself. This attitude of service in both the husband and the wife will
allow for the marriage to prosper and flourish with blessings.
God did not sanctify (set apart) marriage
for spouses to be selfish with one another. Good grief, no! Marriage was
created and instituted for God’s purpose—your marriage belongs to
God. Marriage is a living symbol of the relationship between Christ and
As a Christian if you believe that you are
ready to care for and commit your life to another in the “ways of the
Lord” then the next step is to find friendships in the Lord and wait
on God. Be still with your emotions. Don’t let your emotions rule the
relationship. That means you have to get dating and the attitudes that
are associated with dating completely out of your mind. Dating is not
for the sincere Christian to partake in.
Find Friends With Common Interests and
God will make aware to you, if you are
“still” with your emotions, a suitable man or woman in the Lord.
Christian single people should not have intimate attachments with others
(date), but rather they should search for like-minded Friendships in the
Lord through common interests and beliefs.
These common interests might be a church
activity, sporting event, school function, project or hobbyists event,
or a community play; etcetera. At this event you can meet other
Christian people that share in the same interest as you. Then you can
become friends with them because of that common interest, not because of
anything else, such as receiving something from them.
This friendship should not progress to
anything further than getting to know each other based on respect. In
other words, your feelings for this person do not lead and control your
actions but rather follow your actions, where they are kept in check.
Be Discerning With Your Friendships
You should be very discerning with any
friendships you would like to pursue further and possibly for a marriage
candidate. Carefully examining a persons character is something a smart
Christian will do before allowing the progression of any relationship to
be more than just casual friends.
The main goal in any new friendship is not
to allow your feelings to control the relationship. Keep God always your
main focus as the relationship develops.
If you feel that you are unable to keep your emotions in check
for this person then you must pray about it and ask God to give you the
direction you need.
Be Still With Your Emotions
Be still with your emotions and wait on
God. God will certainly let you know if this person is the one to make a
lifelong commitment with. The only time you should allow your emotions
to take over and give your heart to another is “after” you have made
the commitment to marry and are betrothed (engaged).
God wants young people to remain emotionally
pure before marriage just as He wishes them to remain sexually pure.
Mary and Joseph were betrothed for a couple of years before they
actually got married but they both knew that soon they would be married
and because of that they most likely gave each their hearts.
Sexual intimacy should be reserved for the
big wedding day. This is God’s will for the sincere Christian. I
don’t think you will ever regret saving yourself for the man or woman
you will spend a lifetime caring for and loving. It
is the way of the Lord and many blessings will surely come your
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