Develop a New Heart and Mind
(Attitude) About Dating
Many of you reading this may have already made the
mistake of having romantic attachments and a faulty attitude when it
comes to dating. But rest assured all of this can be changed with the
right attitude and biblical steps that put you on the right foundation.
Whatever your circumstances were in the past, and no matter what the
circumstances are today, you can begin to build and maintain a lifestyle
of purity in your relationships.
Start With a New Heart and Mind (Attitude)
To build a new attitude we must first tear down the
old attitude and start with a clean slate. “What was done was done”
as the saying goes. God loves us greatly and gives us the opportunity to
seek His ways rather than our own. Ask God to give you a new heart and a
new mind by turning away from the old lifestyle in which you based your
relationships on and repent of the old attitudes in your sincerity.
Repentance is a change of direction based on a
changed heart. Pray for this new direction and God will help you along
the way. Have you acted selfishly or carelessly in your relationships
with the opposite sex? Have you sacrificed purity for feelings of what
you think love is supposed to be? Perhaps you are in an improper
romantic relationship now? Will you need to break it off so you can
begin to develop a new attitude about dating?
Ask God to give you the courage and faith to do His
will. Don’t underestimate the power of God working in your life.
Remember all believers have the power of the Holy Spirit within
them—seek the wisdom and principles of Jesus Christ and ask Him to
help you build a new foundation in Him.
Talk With Parents About Helping You Keep a Clean Slate
Once you have buried the past and it is dead and
gone, you can now develop a new attitude dependent upon a Godly
foundation. Ask your parents to help you maintain a clean slate through
accountability. Accountability is very important in maintaining a new
heart and mind about your relationships.
Don’t hide your relationships from your parents;
instead talk to them about any new relationships or new friendships that
you would like to get to know better. Be accountable for your actions
and have your parent’s involvement in any decision-making. Hopefully
your parents will be giving you wisdom based on their love for Christ.
Building a new foundation starts with Godly wisdom and accountability,
both of which should come from your parents, which they receive from
Of course, Jesus Christ and His principles show us
the way to being accountable for our actions, having the support and
encouragement of parents is a blessing in disguise. When young people
hide their relationships from their parents it can result in not
understanding God’s wisdom for their lives. Remember that no matter
what, having a good relationship with Jesus Christ will put Him at the
top of your priority list and will help you to live a life that is
pleasing to Him. Prayer is your gateway to a close relationship with
Establish Protective Guidelines For Your Relationships
If we want to maintain a new heart and mind toward
purity then we’ll have to make some protective guidelines for
ourselves that keep us from being tempted when with the opposite sex.
This is one reason why I wrote about having “friendships in the
Lord”, which only means pure friendships with the opposite sex.
An excellent guideline, in my opinion for Christian
single people to follow is never be alone in the same room with someone
of the opposite sex. Invite them over to your home only when your
parents or roommate or someone else is there with you. Only meet them at
events and functions where there are other people. This is how you keep
yourself from being tempted. Put protective guidelines in place
according to your circumstances.
Finding New Friends
You may find that your old friends are too obsessed
with dating, sex, romance and the opposite sex. This will definitely be
a determent to your sexual and emotional purity. The fact is, if you
truly want to lead a Godly life and put on a new attitude about your
relationships, you may need to cut off your old friends and find new
friends in the Lord. Your old friends may mean well, but they just
aren’t on the same track as you when it comes to sexual and emotional
Friends can surely influence your heart and mind,
and keeping company with friends of bad morals is a bad idea! Of course,
pray for your friends and forgive them for their trespasses. I would
strongly evaluate their negative influence on your new walk with Jesus
Christ. The tables should really be turned here because it is YOU who
should be a Godly influence to them! Let your friends see Jesus Christ
working on your character so they may turn their life around too!
Copyright © 2010 Heaven Ministries