vs. Godly Courtship
Heaven Ministries ~
Scriptural Romance and Godly Courtship
When we look at both of these styles of “getting
to know people” and “having friendships” at face value, it appears
they are the same. But Godly courtship is far superior to dating because
it is scripturally sound and does not hurt people.
Dating is a worldly, cultural way to meet people
for the purpose of having sex. Sex is a prerequisite of dating. Both
parties have within their perception and attitude that having sex during
the dating process is what is expected of them. Parents, if your teenage
daughter is dating she is most likely also having sex. Television
promotes this attitude and your teens watch it.
Dating is not scriptural. Mary and Joseph did not
date. Dating goes against the moral precepts of our Creator and anyone
who is partaking in it is sinning against God. If we want to have
healthy relationships and marriages, we first have to get rid of the
attitude that dating is an acceptable practice. You cannot date in the
worldly sense and not have sex—its what dating is!
In Godly courtship, which is practiced among the
Amish and sincere Christian groups today, when a young man sees a woman
that he is attracted to her, he does not start flirting with her or
think about having sex with her. He does not awaken lustful desire in a
lady and does not disrespect or defraud her by having sex with her.
These young men practice self-control with their emotions and with their
body. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)
Being attracted to the opposite sex is normal, but
we should control our emotions and sexual drive. We should think pure
thoughts of the opposite sex and respect them for who they are, not what
we can receive from them. When it gets to the point of obsessing over a
person with lust and desire and flirting with them it has gone too far.
Most of you think flirting is harmless, but it is a deceiving practice
and should not be entertained until there is a commitment to marriage,
at the very least.
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman
lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”.
In Godly courtship if a man feels attracted to a
young lady he does not show his affection for her right away because
that would, not only be disrespectful to the lady and her parents, but
it would also make him bound to her in marriage. He controls his
passions. If you are having a difficult time controlling your sexual
desires then you need to pray about it and ask God to help you and He
will provide you with self-control.
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has
appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and
worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives
in this present age.” (Titus 2:11-12)
Why does someone think they can arouse lust and
passion in someone they hardly know and have no intentions of marrying?
That doesn’t make any sense, at least from a Christian point of view.
If a man has no intentions for marriage then he should be going to
brothels and prostitutes, not nice ladies. We should not arouse
immorality in others just for our own selfish reasons. Show a bit of
restraint and self-control. Control your sex drive.
In Godly courtship, men and women never give away
their hearts or their bodies. Instead they honor God with their bodies.
(1 Corinthians 6:18-20) They
remain just friends and after getting to know one another better, the
relationship progresses to good friends. The smart way to remain just
friends is to never be alone with someone you are friends with. This
makes so much sense because if you really are friends and love each
other you wouldn’t hurt the relationship by having sex.
“It is God’s will that you should be
sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality. (1 Thessalonians
Only when a man intends on marrying a lady and is
committed to her in marriage, does he give his emotions and passions
away. This is scriptural and should be the way all Christians conduct
themselves in their relationships today; to honor and please God.
Times have changed, that’s certainly true, but God’s principles and
moral lessons stay the same for us and Christians are still required to
observe God’s discipline for them
Many young Christian people of today are being deceived through the
dating process. I cannot tell you how harmful this can be to the
preparation for marriage. If we look at scriptural romance and the way
God intends for relationships to be between the opposite sexes, we see
how much God loves and protects us through His loving discipline and
principles. If we follow His plan for us we remain free from suffering
In today’s society most Christian people are
different with their values and morals and this is how dating got
started. Morals start in
the home. Godly courtship has principles that work for building healthy
relationships with the opposite sex and for preserving marriage. Let’s
bring back God’s way for our relationships and marriage.
“For everything in the world—the cravings of
sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and
does—comes nor from the Father but from the world. The world and its
desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives
forever.” (1 John 2:16-17)
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