Copyright 2007 Heaven
Betrothal is different than worldly engagement;
there is NO SEX during the betrothal period, and the betrothal cannot be
broken off like an engagement. Betrothal is a promise between God and
the couples just like marriage is. The betrothal period unlike the
dating period is a sound biblically based relationship without the
trappings of sex.
Betrothal leads to a healthy marriage.
It teaches how to respect, honor, love and commit oneself to
another. The betrothal period teaches young people about the principled
acts of love, which is so very important in marriage.
The dating process on the other hand, teaches about
having sex and the need to feel a certain way in a relationship.
When someone says they are dating someone, they most likely mean, they
are having sex with them. Thatís what dating is. The dating syndrome
goes something like this: when you are dating someone and you do not feel
in love or ecstatic with jubilation about the person you are with
anymore, then you can just dump them and jump into the next relationship
that feels good to you. This habit of dating and sexual cohabitation is
meaningless and worthless. It does not teach about the principles of
love nor teach how to respect and honor someone.
Have you ever stole love from your spouse? Stealing
love is easy and we have all done it, but it is wrong. If you think the
way to love is through any form of manipulations, abuse, exploitation,
or through selfishness then you are stealing love from your spouse. This
happens mostly because of the lack of commitment to the person you
married. Unfortunately, most people jump into marriage under the wrong
guise of love because dating conditioned them to believe wrongly about
what love really is. If you believe that love is only about getting
something from the other or needing to feel a certain way then you have
But now letís suppose your marriage is
prearranged for you, meaning your dad chooses the man you are going to
marry and you have no say so in the matter. You donít even feel love
for the man you are about to marry, but your dad says you have to marry
him. In the bible days this was the norm for women of marital
age. Many times, if she were still too young to marry, say
fourteen-years old, she was betrothed (engaged) to the man she was to
marry until marital age, which was about sixteen. This is what Mary and
Joseph did. They were betrothed for several years before they actually
So did Mary love Joseph? It didnít matter if she
felt love for Joseph or not because back then they didnít go by
feelings to choose a suitable partner. Mary respected and honored
Joseph, which is principled acts of love right there! What was she
supposed to feel? We are not to marry the one we love, but love the one we
Women married the man their father chose for them to marry
and together they learned to love and respect each other by applying the
principled acts of love. Women often needed to be loved and provided for
and a Godly man of good character was chosen for that very purpose. Did
Joseph love Mary? If he protected, provided, and cared for Mary, which
he did, then he was loving her.
Today young women are giving themselves away in sex
with multiple partners, not ever learning about how to properly respect
and honor a man the way he should be respected and honored. She has been
disrespected, exploited and abused so many times herself because of the
dating process, that to respect or love a man in the proper ways is
absolutely unspeakable to her.
Today young men are giving themselves away in sex
with multiple partners never learning how to properly love, respect,
provide, and protect a woman. He has been exploited, abused and
disrespected so many times himself through the dating process that he is
afraid to trust or love a woman in the right ways, it scares him. And
women wonder why men are afraid to commit themselves in a marriage!?
In my opinion the dating process is a sham, full of
lies, deceit, lustfulness, and degradation of self worth and value in
yourself and others. Why in the world do you have to have sex to get to
know someone? Sex should be saved for marriage. Dating is senseless and
without a doubt, causing much of the unneeded problems associated with
bad marriages today.