The Role of Husband and Wife in a Christ-Centered Marriage
Copyright 2010 Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry



Husbands have been appointed by God to be the overseer’s of their home and family just as Christ is the overseer of His church. Ephesians 5: 23. God created the man with a certain capacity of strength that makes him a protector over his wife and children. God created a man with certain abilities and inner attributes that make him a natural leader.

Its not that a wife cannot protect her husband should the need arise but it is not in her nature to do so. As we all know, most mothers will do whatever it takes to protect her children from harm. It is not that a wife cannot lead her family in the ways of the Lord but God has given her a different role for her family, if she is married. Besides that, a mother is a leader and a guide of her children until they are old enough to lead and guide themselves.

Women become good examples to Christian young ladies when they allow their husbands to be the overseer of the home and family in respectful submission to his headship position.  In submitting to her husband she does not become a doormat. She is not following her husband like a lost puppy dog, but merely submitting her life to his trust by working with him as his helpmeet.

Together husband and wife make a beautiful example of marriage. She submits because she loves God. That’s all submission is. It is submitting to your husband’s God-given role. To NOT submit would be rebelling against God. Submission is not cowering under a demanding, controlling, tyrannical or abusive husband—that’s fear!

When we apply our roles as given to us by the teachings of Jesus Christ, a husband oversees his family through the Word of God, while the wife, through her submissive role helpmeets her husbands headship. Therefore she becomes her husband’s helper in her role as a helpmeet. Her helpmeet role brings intimacy, togetherness and harmony—it does not usurp her husband’s role as head over her.

In marriage the helpmeet role is appointed to the wife because that’s the way God designed women; God designed women to be more attuned to details and the care giving aspect of the home management. A helpmeet wife manages her home in the ways that her husband has overseen her to do it, although details and other necessities are left up to her discretion. A husband who micro-manages his wife needs to pray about that and figure out why he needs to do such a thing.

Titus 2:3-5 tells us a little bit more about a women’s role. It says: the aged women, likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. That they may teach the young women to be discreet, chaste, keepers of the home and obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God cannot be blasphemed.

Titus 2:7, shows us one example of a husbands responsibilities as overseer of his marriage and as a man of God. It says: In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing incorruptness, gravity, sincerity, sound speech that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed having no evil thing to say of you.

A husband’s job is to show a pattern (consistent) of good works to his wife through the Word of God. This makes so much sense since it is the husband who cleanses his wife through the Word of God. It is Gods Word that cleanses us and makes us Holy. (Ephesians 5:25-26) Do you notice how it says “shewing” a pattern of good works and not “telling”. Husbands are to show a pattern of good works and sound speech so that those who oppose the Word of God may be ashamed because they truly “see” nothing corrupt about you, therefore have nothing evil to say.

The role of husband/father is not one of nurturing but one of practicality, functionality, sincerity, incorrupt teaching, showing God’s way in himself FIRST for order and harmony in the home. Husbands are the ministers of their home. 

God’s design for marriage is amazing and beautiful! Sincere Christian living is a lifestyle—it is not something that we only read about but something that we do as Godly men and women of God. If we profess to be Christ Ones then we must live what Christ taught in our daily lives. When we adhere to the roles that were purposed for us, our lives become abundantly blessed!

We truly serve others best through being good examples. We should live so others can see Christ in us! Husbands should be examples as the overseer of his family and as role models to younger men who are not yet married. Timothy 4:12 shows men more on leadership in the home and in society. It says: be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

And wives are you being a good role model wife to the young Christian ladies who are not yet married? Can others see Christ working in you? Are you respectful and obedient to your husband’s headship position? As God’s people we should strive to be faithful to God’s purpose for our lives, as husbands and wives to our marriage and men and women in society.

For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. (John 13:15

What is Wifely Submission?

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