How To Find a Spouse if You Don't
Heaven Ministries ~ Scriptural Romance
I received this question just the other day to one of
our articles titled "How
to Remain a Virgin Until You Are Married"
How Can You Find a Spouse if You Don't Date?
The ritual of dating is such a common place among society and even
Christians that many people think it is impossible to find a
spouse without dating. But nothing could be further from the truth.
To most people if you don't date you will never meet someone and fall in
love and get married. But this assumption and fear is totally ungrounded
and simply not true.
The whole idea behind scriptural romance and Godly courtship is to find
a suitable spouse someday but not through the dating process! It is perfectly fine for God's people to meet and to have all the
platonic friendships they could ever want. In fact, the more the better.
But...do not become romantically and or emotionally involved with the
Becoming romantically or emotionally involved with the opposite sex will
not help you to get to know someone better for a potential marriage
spouse. Only after there is a firm commitment to marriage and you have
parents or other guardian's blessings should you even begin to think of
becoming emotionally attached.
The commitment to marriage, may or may not come. If there is no
commitment, and if you remain unattached then there is no heartache, no
hurt feelings, no defenses coming up and no defrauding one another or
yourself!! Do you see how that works?!
A Commitment to marriage may take 4 months or it may take two years.
There's no rush. Christian people are on God's timing. not their own, so
in the meantime, have all the friends in the Lord that you want.
If your opposite sex friends want to get to intimate before a commitment
is made to love and honor for the rest of your lives, then the wise
thing to do is to back away from the relationship before you get hurt.
Why harm a friendship with an emotional attachment if neither of you are
ready to make the commitment to marriage?
It may be difficult for a young person to back away from a relationship,
and especially if you have allowed the emotional attachment that I am
taking about. But anytime someone is pressuring you into intimacy of any
kind, they are only out for their own pleasure and are disrespecting you
mind and body! Be aware of the signs that this is happening in your
relationships. don't let yourself become defrauded like most people do.
If someone is pressuring you to be more than just friends then they need
to seek someone else who is more like them in character and who is
willing to give in to their desires.
Remember: intimacy without commitment means
If you have any questions, just ask us and we'll answer as soon as
possible. Remember this forum is for you to learn and get encouraged. we
welcome all questions, comments and feedback.