Facts and Myths About Dating
Copyright © 2005 Heaven Ministries - Angie Lewis


Do not let the culture hoodwink you into believing that you should participate in sexual relations before marriage. The whole idea of dating and everything that goes with it is so much of a heavy-laden burden, and as a young girl, you should not have to endure this crazy emotional roller coaster ride.

Do not let your social group fool you into believing the only way to be popular in school is to have sex with the boys. What a tale of deceit we web.


Dating will NOT prepare you for marriage. In fact, it will damage your heart, mind and soul, and you will treat your husband according to how you were treated from boys in school.  If you have had several sexual relationships that ended in heartbreak as a teenager, when you get married you will be on guard with your husband. You will not be able to share with him all of your self, afraid that he, too, might hurt you.  

You will not understand the beauty and enjoyment of the sexual union that a husband and wife share together because of what you experienced with some strange boy in school. Unpleasant dating games lead to negative feelings about sex later on down the road.

The best thing you can do to avoid all this turmoil later in life is to remain sexually abstinent until you are married. Sound difficult? Well it’s not! Read on.

As a young girl or woman, you have choices. You only have to experience the pressures of dating and the rituals that go along with it, if you allow your self to fall into its trap. If you do fall into the teenage dating traps it will most likely obscure your whole way of thinking. Dating will NOT prepare you for marriage but will take away from the honor and commitment that is so vital for marriage.


If a young girl has only one breakup in school from participating in the new cultural rituals of dating and having sex, she is more likely to get a divorce later on in her marriage.  Most young girls have three or more heartaches during their teenage years. This is totally unnecessary. Going through a breakup and then finding a new boy to have a relationship with will prepare a woman to do the same for her marriage.  For instance, now that she is married, she begins having marital troubles and in her mind she remembers what happened in school, and she knows that she can just dump her husband, and remarry, right?

Wrong!  Where is the commitment?

Unfortunately for many, the “dating and dump” them syndrome is carried forward into marriage.  Another reason there is so much divorce today.  Couples are now using the same culturally immoral foundations they grew up with in school for their marriage later in life.   

God wants all young women to stay pure before marriage. Trust me on this one. Let’s be all that we can be as young ladies. Nothing is more important to God than your happiness. God wants you to someday find love, get married and be all that you can be. Why rush into all this dating stuff, especially when you are not ready for it?  

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is honorable and holy, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God, and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. …For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man, but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Now lets take a look at some of the myths.

If I don’t have sex, the boys will not like me

Bonk! This is so untrue! He might act like he doesn’t like you but in his heart he will RESPECT you for loving your self. The truth is, you can be best friends with this boy and not have sex with him and your relationship will be even better. He will treat you better and tell you things he normally wouldn’t if you were having sex with him.  If he is a big jerk and does treat you bad, so what, let him be. More “spiritual power” to you for detaching from his immature antics.  

If I don’t have sex, I won’t be popular or liked by my friends. 

If your friends are having sex with boys, then I don’t think you want to be hanging out with that crowd in the first place. The boys that your friends are having sex with are talking about your friends behind their back. Their good reputation has been busted! You do not want to be associated with that kind of behavior, do you?

Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs 20:11

Find some new friends that know and love God and who like them selves. Friends who wouldn’t like you because you won’t have sex are only jealous because you are in control of your body. Do not let those girls who do not know God and who are NOT in control of their bodies trespass against your beautiful spiritual self and tell you things that will lead you into sin.


This is part 1 of 2 on Teenage Dating vs. Courtship 


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