and Myths About Dating
Copyright © 2005 Heaven Ministries - Angie Lewis
Do not let the
culture hoodwink you into believing that you should participate in
sexual relations before marriage. The whole idea of dating and
everything that goes with it is so much of a heavy-laden burden, and as
a young girl, you should not have to endure this crazy emotional roller
Do not let your
social group fool you into believing the only way to be popular in
school is to have sex with the boys. What a tale of deceit we web.
Dating will NOT
prepare you for marriage. In fact, it will damage your heart, mind and
soul, and you will treat your husband according to how you were treated
from boys in school.
If you have had
several sexual relationships that ended in heartbreak as a teenager,
when you get married you will be on guard with your husband. You will
not be able to share with him all of your self, afraid that he, too,
might hurt you.
You will not
understand the beauty and enjoyment of the sexual union that a husband
and wife share together because of what you experienced with some
strange boy in school. Unpleasant dating games lead to negative feelings
about sex later on down the road.
The best thing you can do to avoid all this turmoil later in life is to
remain sexually abstinent until you are married. Sound difficult? Well
it’s not! Read on.
As a young girl or
woman, you have choices. You only have to experience the pressures of
dating and the rituals that go along with it, if you allow your self to
fall into its trap. If you do fall into the teenage dating traps it will
most likely obscure your whole way of thinking.
Dating will NOT prepare you for marriage but will take away from the honor and
commitment that is so vital for marriage.
If a young girl has
only one breakup in school from participating in the new cultural
rituals of dating and having sex, she is more likely to get a divorce
later on in her marriage. Most
young girls have three or more heartaches during their teenage years.
This is totally unnecessary.
Going through a
breakup and then finding a new boy to have a relationship with will
prepare a woman to do the same for her marriage.
For instance, now that she is married, she begins having marital
troubles and in her mind she remembers what happened in school, and she
knows that she can just dump her husband, and remarry, right?
Where is the commitment?
many, the “dating and dump” them syndrome is carried forward into
marriage. Another reason
there is so much divorce today. Couples
are now using the same culturally immoral foundations they grew up with
in school for their marriage later in life.
God wants all young women to stay pure before marriage. Trust me on this
one. Let’s be all that we can be as young ladies. Nothing is more
important to God than your happiness. God wants you to someday find
love, get married and be all that you can be. Why rush into all this
dating stuff, especially when you are not ready for it?
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you
should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control
his own body in a way that is honorable and holy, not in passionate lust
like the heathen, who do not know God, and that in this matter no one
should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. …For God did not
call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects
this instruction does not reject man, but God, who gives you his Holy
Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
Now lets take a
look at some of the myths.
If I don’t have sex, the boys will not like me
Bonk! This is so
untrue! He might act like he doesn’t like you but in his heart he will
RESPECT you for loving your self. The truth is, you can be best friends
with this boy and not have sex with him and your relationship will be
even better. He will treat you better and tell you things he normally
wouldn’t if you were having sex with him.
If he is a big jerk and does treat you bad, so what, let him be.
More “spiritual power” to you for detaching from his immature
If I don’t have
sex, I won’t be popular or liked by my friends.
If your friends are having sex with boys, then I don’t think you want
to be hanging out with that crowd in the first place. The boys that your
friends are having sex with are talking about your friends behind their
back. Their good reputation has been busted! You do not want to be
associated with that kind of behavior, do you?
Even a child is
known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs
Find some new
friends that know and love God and who like them selves. Friends who
wouldn’t like you because you won’t have sex are only jealous
because you are in control of your body. Do not let those girls who do
not know God and who are NOT in control of their bodies trespass against
your beautiful spiritual self and tell you things that will lead you
This is part 1 of 2
on Teenage Dating vs. Courtship