FURTHERMORE then we
beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have
received of us
how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye abound more and more.
1 Thessalonians 4:1
- How can I remain emotionally
or sexually pure before marriage in a world that promotes dating and
promiscuity?
- How will I find a life
spouse if I don't date?
- What are some of the
differences between dating and Godly courtship?
- How will I know if someone is
the right person for me?
- What are the main principles
of Godly courtship
- Can I email your ministry
with my questions?
Keep your focus on Christ and His principles for your
life. Read and study the bible every day. Pray for God to protect you from worldly
desires that take you away from Him and His will for your life. Some of you may
have made some mistakes in your relationships. If you
are not yet married and have erred in your walk, don't kick yourself too hard.
Get back on the path that leads to God and know that you
are forgiven--God will wipe the slate clean.
For the grace of God that bringeth
salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and
worldly lusts,
we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present age. Titus
2:11-12
This is probably the most popular question people ask
because "all they know" is the cultural way of dating. Dating is
something that the
culture has developed over the years. But dating in this way was not always so.
Before dating became popular, gentlemen and ladies would
court one another. Godly courtship is what we teach on this website, which has
biblical principles attached to it. The objective: Godly
courtship works in such a way as to help keep couples from being tempted with
one another emotionally and physically.
It was just a little over a hundred years ago, in the
18th and 19th centuries that it was considered in bad taste for a gentleman to
even show
intimate affection towards a lady unless they were betrothed (engaged) to be married. In
fact, if he did so, he was expected to marry her, and
if he did not marry her he would receive a bad reputation as a womanizer. And if
a lady ever showed such affection to a man (flirting) she was
gossiped about throughout the city and then given a bad reputation, in which
Godly men steered away from--they didn't want a wife who flirted
with men. So what has changed? What has changed is people are turning away from
God.
It is God's will that unmarried Christian people
conduct themselves in a pure and respectful manner, NOT to arouse passion within
one another,
but to respect each other's bodies and minds. Christians are set apart
(sanctified) for doing God's work and pleasing Him with our daily life. If
we
claim to be Christ Ones then we should not be dating but conducting ourselves in
a manner that is pleasing to God.
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification,
that ye should abstain from fornication. That every one of you should know how
to possess his
vessel (body) in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of the
concupiscence, even as the Gentiles, which know not God. That no man go
beyond
and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of
all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath
not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6
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Godly courtship |
Dating |
| 1) Couples
are NEVER alone with each other until they are betrothed (engaged)
2) Keeps emotions in check until there is a commitment
to marry, and they get to know each other inside and out
3)Keeps body language in check, never stares or
flirts
4) Ladies dress modestly
5) Males are taught from an early age to not
look at a woman with disrespect and to love her as he would his own
sister
It is God’s will for
Christian men to love women, as they were his sisters, with sisterly
love and with absolute purity. (1 Timothy 5:2)
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1) Couples
like to exclude themselves from others and be alone together, which
usually results in sexual relations
2) Couples allow themselves to become too
emotionally involved before a commitment or know one another
3) Ogles, stares, flirts, and other flirtatious
body language
4) Ladies dress immodestly
5) Males are taught from an early age on in
this culture to lust after women
In like manner also. that women
adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety;
not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. (Timothy
2:9) |
I personally know a young Christian woman who truly
thought that one of my son's was the right one for her only to be told in a
dream that he was not the right one
for her, so she stopped the relationship. And I'm glad she did before it got out
of hand. This kind of wishy washy attitude will prevent you from ever
finding
"the one for you". If we go by these kinds of signs to tell us
"who is the right one" we may end up marrying the wrong person.
No one can know for complete certainty who is the right
person as a marriage spouse except for God Himself. But I do believe that if we
wait on God and
not be in a hurry with our relationships that God will feed our heart and mind
with His wisdom and guidance. He will show us and bless us with a lifetime
spouse. Sometimes the right one, but the least-likely to us, is the person God would
bless you with and you won't know it because you aren't really letting God
go
to work in your personal life.
Give it to God-have faith to know that He knows what
you need and who would be best suited to your needs. God knows our weaknesses
and strengths and
would want us to marry someone who complimented us in our weaknesses and that we
strengthen in their weaknesses. Don't be in a rush to get to know
someone either...let the relationship blossom on its own, and if it was meant to
develop from the friendship stage to the courtship stage, God will let your
heart
know. Last word of advice is don't fall back into the dating trap. Read the
principles of dating below so as to keep your relationship pure and pleasing to
God.
“I
charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not stir up or awaken love until it
pleases” (Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4).
1) Never be alone with the opposite sex. It does not
matter if you are 17 or 32 this is a sound biblical principle that truly keeps
couples from being
tempted with each other
2) Always do things together in groups
3) Do not rush a relationship and give away your heart
and mind. Staying pure emotionally keeps us from being heartbroken later on down
the road.
4) Get to know someone from the inside out before you
decide to move away from the friendship stage and into the courtship
stage. Read our free
ebook on Godly courtship to find out what to look for in a person's character...
5) Always stay focused on God's will for your life.
Live your life to please God, not yourself
6) Read and Study this website for more godly
information on how God intends marriage to be
Study to shew thyself approved unto
God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of
truth. But shun profane and vain
babblings: for they will increase to more ungodliness. 2 Timothy 2:15
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow
righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a
pure heart. (2 timothy 2:22)
Yes! email us from the home
page and use the "contact us" link and let us know what is on your
mind.
Copyright © 2010 Heaven Ministries
Revised: July 23, 2011
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