Courtship Tips in Preparation to Marriage
Say “No” to Sex
Encouraging Your Friends to Just Say “No”
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Our ministry, Heaven
Ministries Godly courtship is not here to rebuke or judge. We are here to
help you follow the path that is right for you. When I was young I did not know
there was even a path to follow and because of that I made some big mistakes. I
don’t want you to make those same mistakes. The path we’re talking about is
courtship path rather than the dating path.
When you are dating it is
more difficult to say “no” to sex because dating puts you in certain
situations that you should not even be in to begin with. Dating also carries an
attitude of expectation.
Let’s first look at some
of those situations that dating can put you in so you will have a better
understanding of the difference between dating and courtship. Plus if you have
not already read the FAQ’s
page on the home page of the ministry, please do so. We
also recommend our FREE ebook on courtship before marriage called “How to
Prepare for a Rock Solid Marriage! The
download link is on the homepage
of the ministry.
Negative Dating Situations
In a room alone with the
In a car alone with
Out someplace alone with
Dating attitude is only
interested in appearance
With dating there is always
an expectation to have sex
Dating carries with it
feelings of lust and desire for the other person
Dating is built upon non
What do These Situations
and Attitude Lead to…?
Feelings of lust and desire
Loss of emotional balance
Loss of a relationship with
Jesus Christ (Remember, Jesus is the
Holy Spirit, meaning, He is with you in Spirit—His Spirit Lives within
you…and He knows everything about you)
If you do not have a close
relationship with the Lord now, ask Him to come into your life today and then
follow His precepts and the path He is leading you to be on.
Love is His Discipline for us!
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all
men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to
live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus
The Just Say “No” Path
there are more situations that bring about premarital sex in a relationship but
it is these major ones we mentioned above that we need to focus on. Grab
a friend and encourage one another to follow in the path that God has outlined
we followed the precept of “never being alone with the opposite sex” until a
commitment to marriage” is made, or better yet, marriage, then we would not
have to say “no” to fornication in the first place.
this path, you’ll
be saying “no” less often or not at all if you do not allow yourself to be
alone with the opposite sex.
person you are with expects you to have sex with them then they are not really
caring about your feelings. They only
care about what they can get from you. This
means, if you cave in to their demands to have sex, then you are giving them
what they want and desire, while they disrespect your body, your mind, and your
spiritual self. This will hurt your self esteem. This will hurt your relationship with
next path keeps you from being deceived. We’ve
told you about those people with expectations, (those who want to be alone with
you) and now you do not have to allow yourself to be deceived to have sex before
marriage. It’s your body and you have the right to just say “no” to going
somewhere alone and to flirtatious / sexual advances.
intimacy means nothing unless you are married, and you’ll come to know this if
you contemplate all the negatives
of having sex outside of marriage that are documented in the Godly
courtship ministry website. Sex within the boundaries of marriage is
the only way God intended sexual relations for.
point is, you NEED to
respect yourself and value your body, mind and spirit enough to just say
“no” to those who pressure you to have sex. God created the beautiful person
you are…on the inside and outside, and if you disrespect yourself, you are
essentially disrespecting Gods creation.
you are NOT a bad person for having caved in to temptation in the past, but if
you want to please God and value yourself, you truly need to put the past behind
you and grow to be the woman or man that God intended you to be for Him, for
yourself, and for others.
you will have a spouse to love and care for, and PLEASING God now is truly the
best marriage preparation on the face of the earth…it’s called purity and
holiness in Praise of our Creator!
you would be tempted but He lets us know that He has given us a way out of this
temptation. It’s not “being” tempted that’s the problem; the problem is
falling into it and doing things that goes against Gods plan for you.
Corinthians 10:13 declares: There hath no temptation
taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted
above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to
escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
has given you the ability to just say “no” and escape the temptation and
also to be able to bear it! God is GREAT!
All God wants from you is the FAITH to believe this.
If you believe what God says for you then it will be so.
This is what TRUST in Jesus Christ
is all about.
handle saying “no” is up to you. Pray about it and the Lord will help you to
explain to your friend, who may be pressuring you that you want to stay pure for
yourself and for God! This is your mission as a single person.
continues to pressure you to have sex with them then it may be time to evaluate
that friendship. A true friend would
never do anything that would harm you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
those who trust in Him!
We hope you
have found this newsletter encouraging. As always, your feedback and questions
Frank and Angie
Heaven Ministries ~ Godly Courtship
Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry
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