Courtship in Preparation to Marriage
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a Worldly Trap! Are You Getting Sucked in? (Part 1)
people don’t like to talk about it. Instead they sweep it under the
rug and there it stays until something negative happens in their life.
Most people do not realize that the big white elephant in their homes is
FACEBOOK. And that’s the reality.
young people may not like what I am about to say about patronizing
Facebook and other social networks like Facebook.
In fact, some of you may decide to just unsubscribe after you
read what I have to say about Facebook, but please bear with me on this.
If you have questions or concerns email me and I will be happy to
talk with you.
Facebook Can Be Harmful
the last 12-years we (Heaven
Ministries Marriage Ministry) have received hundreds of emails from
married men and women who said that their spouse has opposite sex
friends on Facebook and it is causing a rift between them and this is
putting it in a mild and nice way. You do not want me to go into detail
but it is not pretty.
is more common than you think. We even did
a video about how Facebook can cause problems in marriage.
I’m Not Married So It Won’t Cause a Problem for Me
of you reading this are not married, yet, and so you may think having or
starting an online friendship won’t hurt. But the truth is Facebook is
the last place where you would want to meet people, and I mean the last
out at a young age having private friends on Facebook will make you
think that when you are married it is ok to continue having a private
Facebook account and this is where the problem begins in marriage. It is
called accountability. Even
single people need to be accountable to someone.
Christian-single people are first and foremost accountable to
God. How is your accountability to God when you are on Facebook? Answer
the questions below and you will come to find out if you are showing
proper accountability as a Christ-one to God.
you use Facebook for?
the purpose for your Facebook account?
really need facebook?
of your friends on Facebook are your true personal friends you see in
your daily life?
Facebook friends make you a better Christian?
Facebook further your growth in the LORD?
Facebook friends take the place of God in your life?
you talk about on Facebook that you cannot talk about with your physical
friends or with your parents?
you helping others to Christ when you are on Facebook?
your friends see Jesus Christ working in you when you are on Facebook?
You are the only one who can answers these questions, but they
need to be answered with complete honesty. Then evaluate your position
as a Christian. I mean REALLY evaluate your relationship to the Lord. Only
when we get right with God will we truly understand how
detrimental Facebook actually can be in our lives as a wife, a
woman, a husband, a man, or single person.
Facebook is Harmful for Single Christians
what you are doing from your parents –
if you won’t let your parents see what you are posting than you are
hiding something from them. This kind of relationship becomes second
nature to you and you’ll end up hiding things from your spouse as
secrets from your parents is how an attitude of deception begins when
married. Having a private
Facebook account from your spouse is deception because if you were not
doing anything in which to hide you would share your password. The attitude is that you think it is ok to have a private Facebook account
from your spouse. You justify there is nothing wrong with it.
to be someone you are not
– People behave differently in person. People say things they would
not on their Facebook page. This perhaps makes you be someone you really
are not. If you would not say or behave a certain way with someone in
person then why would you say something or behave a certain way like
that on facebook?
of all the fakey people you are connected with on facebook? Do they
really behave that way? Would they say these things if you met them in
person? Are they really who they say they are? I could go on and on
you know that God knows and sees everything you say and do on Facebook?
You cannot hide from God.
the attention – young
people, and a lot of adults too, have this dire need to fit in and be
praised by others. What they don’t know is what they are trying to
“fit into” can be dangerous to your spiritual health as a Christian.
We forget that we are Gods
children and it does not matter what people think of us; what matter is
what God thinks of us.
wait to get on Facebook (addiction)
people are so allured by all the attention and the praise they receive
from Facebook that they cannot stop checking for new posts throughout
the day, this is called addiction. It is an addiction for praise and
attention from others. Most young people do not know this but 95% of the
attention and praise one gets on Facebook is false and fakey! People are
only like that because they too want attention and to be flattered and
noticed by all the friend connections they have. This is what Facebook
is all about!
This one collaborates with everything I’ve been saying. Some people
have 300 and 500, or more friends on Facebook. But in real life they
really only have a handful of friends and only about one or two of that
handful are even real friends .
then…who are all the friends you have connected with on Facebook? These
people you share information with, do you know them personally? Of
course not, no one knows 300 people personally. These are the people you
are fakey with and they are fakey with you back! This is what Facebook
is all about!
are the friends you have never met who you receive notifications from,
attention, from, game apps from, false praise from and sometimes things
said that you would not want your parents or significant other to see.
What is that all about? Well, it is part of the addiction of Facebook-it
is dangerous and harmful, even when you are NOT married!
is Emotionally/Spritiually/Physically Harmful to Marriage
can be emotionally and psychologically Harmful to the one-flesh of
marriage - Facebook is a
tool of selfishness for people to use for their own vanity and desires
and it has become apparent that if a person peruses these sites BEFORE
they are married it continues even after they are married, and this is
when you see the affects of how detrimental it really can be.
It is NOT ok to Have a
Private Facebook from Your Spouse
God unites two people together for the purpose of marriage it is a
oneness of emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical unity.
Do you realize the implications of Gods unity (one flesh) being broken?
Having a private Facebook account is NOT BIBLICAL! The consequences are
real and devastating. I know this first hand, we have a marriage healing
ministry and the emails I receive are devastating. This subject is not
to be taken lightly if you want a marriage based upon Gods design and
married couples are breaking the one flesh of marriage because of their
desires and addictions for Facebook. And
this is not directed to Facebook only but to all other social networks,
forums, chats and messengers!
the truth is an online program cannot break apart marriages; what breaks
apart marriages is the people in the marriage who use these online
websites for their own vanity, selfishness, and desires! Where
is the accountability, if not to yourself, and others, but to God?!
Christians Should NOT
Even be on Facebook!
is a Worldly Trap -
We feel that Christians, married or single should stay away from these
kinds of traps and lures of the world because they may snare you in and
catch you off your Christ-centered guard.
need to evaluate our position with Christ. Are we following Jesus with
all of our heart, mind, or soul, or are we following Facebook with all
of our heart, mind and soul? Does
Jesus like what you are doing on Facebook? Would Jesus say or behave in
the way you are on Facebook?
happened to connecting with people by using good-old fashion telephone
or meeting your real friends at the movies or other function? Look at
the list of friends you now have on your Facebook page? Would you be
friends with them in person? Are they the type of people you would take
home to meet mom and dad? Would you let them baby sit your children?
you answered no to just one of the above questions, then why have them
as friends on your Facebook? Do you see now, how Facebook is a farce, a
sham, a front for people?
So Then what is Facebook
married couples share Facebook as a means to stay connected with family
and maybe friends, if they BOTH agree to connect with them then, MAYBE
Facebook has a useful purpose. Other than that, it is pretty much
useless and destructive for single people as well as married folks.
remember though, it is not Facebook in itself that causes problems in
our lives. How could an
online program outright cause marital issues or emotional problems for
is a tool that people use to achieve that which they desire. So with that said, you may need to evaluate your Christians
stance and do what needs to be done to heal yourself and develop a
relationship with your Savior, if you are a Christian. Do we desire the
things of God or the things which come from the world? It
is the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ with keeps us from desiring that
which is in and of the world.
questions and comments are welcome. We hope this newsletter has
enlightened you in some way. Stay tuned for part 2 , “A New
Perspective and Perception about Facebook and Single / Married Life.
Frank and Angie
Heaven Ministries - Godly Courtship in Preparation to Marriage
Ministries – Marriage Healing Ministry
© 2012 Heaven Ministries
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