Godly Courtship in Preparation for Marriage
Heaven Ministries ~ Godly Courtship

Valuing the Person You Are?


For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)


Our heart and mind is much more valuable to God than how we look and what we wear and what we do.  Today in the world there is too much value placed on appearances and what we do.  In fact, society teaches that if you want to be something in this world you need to have a certain size breast, we won’t go there, the perfect nose and chin, a different hair color, and “oh my”, watch out for those wrinkles once you hit 30-something!  Society is going nuts with plastic surgeries!

This kind of attitude might gain you popularity with superficial types but it surely will not gain you popularity with God.  God doesn’t care what you look like! He doesn’t care about your clothing! He made you, so then how much more don’t you think He loves you for just being YOU?

Every time someone changes their appearance, through plastic surgery, dying of the hair, they are altering the way God made them to be. They are changing Gods work!  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

The outside (appearances) of a person is made up of three aspects

1)    1. The way they look – how God made them to look

2)    2. The way they dress – clothes they wear and how they wear them

3)    3. Outward Show - appearances

The Inside of a person is also made up of three aspects

1)    1. The (real) heart and mind of a person – behaviors and actions (this ties in with number 3)

2)    2. Fruits of who you are – True successes are from God, which is the fruit of our labor in Him – behavior and actions

3)    3. Spirit – Jesus’ Christ’s Spirit within you – behavior and actions

The bible has a lot to say about appearances so let’s get right into it. Scripture clearly shows us that in our dress and habit(s) we should not behave in any way, or wear anything that would dishonor Jesus Christ.  But let’s start with the way we look.

1)    The way we look – How God made us

It is understandable that if someone had their face mauled by a monkey (this really happened) they would need to have some surgery done to improve the way they look…but what about all of the people changing their appearance who already look good? There are people who don’t like their nose, chin, wrinkles, body parts, etc and so they have plastic surgery. There is nothing sinful about having plastic surgery but the thing is God made you the way you are, hair color, nose, chin, body parts… and all.  

It seems to me that when we are not satisfied with the way God made us to look then we can’t be satisfied within our spirit either. You see, the way we think we look and the way we feel about ourselves ties into together. It’s like health. Total health is being fit physically, emotionally (mentally) and spiritually.  If we don’t like the way we look on the outside then we probably won’t feel too good about ourselves on the inside.  (This is our self-esteem—our ego—how we value the person that God made us to be.)

And when we don’t feel good about ourselves on the inside we tend to NOT put our trust with God…but, well, with other gods such as plastic surgeons, psychotherapists, psychologists…and we think these gods can make us look better (feel better) than we do now and so maybe we’ll value ourselves more and look good to other people.

Going to doctor-gods to change something about our facial features or to tell us why we feel a certain way and to make us feel better from within is not going to give us a better relationship with our Father who created us…we might feel better for a time with ourselves, but it will dissipate.  It will dissipate because it is a superficial value based upon “how we look” or on how we “want to feel”.

But understand, no one, no matter how many certificates they have on the wall can make us feel good about who we are but God who made us!!! God is our healer and we must put our TRUST in Him to heal us, not in other gods.

Valuing ourselves on the inside comes from God
That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man.  Ephesians 3:16

The most important aspect of our Christian lives is to know that we are a part of God…we are His children, no matter what age we are now…we belong to God. God gives to those that do His will His spirit so we can love Him, know Him, and trust Him, and not worry about what we look like; or compare ourselves to what other people look like.  We belong to God and we are to value ourselves as His child, just the way we are, knowing God made us.

We are Gods Temple?

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Are we glorifying God when we change the way He made us? How about when we dress inappropriately?

Very sadly, we live in a world where the outside matters to people more than the actual person. This is refelcted through popular magazines; in Hollywood movies; television; cartoons;  music; billboards;  schools; institutions; and many other popular culture organizations and teachings.

We should not allow these things to influence our relationship with God! We should not be changing our appearance or behaving in ANY WAY that is unbecoming just to gain attention from others. Could it be that perhaps we try so hard to garner attention from certain people that we displease God in the way we dress, in our actions and in our mannerisms? Only you will know the answer to that but it is something that we all need to think about.

If things of the world influence us and keep us from TRUSTING in God then we should not patronize these institutions, listen to the music, watch the shows, or read the magazines. We have to decide WHO WE ARE. Do we belong to God, or do we belong to the gods in the world?

How Can We Please God?

*God cares about what we put inside of our bodies (His temple) and how we behave in our dress and in our actions.

*God does not want us to harm our health with poor diet, bad habits, etc…this harms God’s space that resides inside of our body. 

*God does not want us to dress in ways that are inappropriate that attract the wrong kinds of attention. This is how we end up erring in our Christ-centered walk.

*God does not want us to say or behave in ways just to please others.

People say and do things for “appearance sake” all the time and without even realizing they are doing it because habits form and it becomes a lifestyle. But our lifestyle should “be” about glorifying God who lives in us.

God wants the real you, not the fake you, not the façade.

*God wants us to please Him with our actions, dress and mannerisms. The point is God NEEDS to come first in our lives, everything and everyone else is secondary to pleasing our Creator.

2. The way we dress … therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Read the above verse again and reflect upon what it is saying. We are to glorify God with our body.  Are we glorifying God with our body when we wear clothes that show our skin parts that should only be shown to our spouses? Are we glorifying God when we wear clothing so tight that it looks like it is painted on and others can see the outline of our body parts? What are we trying to accomplish by dressing in this way?

Many young women today, even Christian women think they need to show cleavage, belly buttons, thighs, etc, to attract a man. What they don’t realize is this way of dressing will attract a man alright, the wrong man! Plus it will separate you from God.

3.     Outward Show– Appearances.

When we do something just to “prove” something to others, or when we say something just to pretend to be something we are not, we are not pleasing God but pleasing ourselves and others. This is not being a sincere Christian but being something for “appearance sake”. But God knows and sees all. He knows what is really on the inside; He really knows what we are thinking and wanting to do.

Remember we are specially created TO GLORIFY THE FATHER in what we do and by what we say.  We have to work at being true to ourselves and work at being who we are in Christ at all times, without worrying about what other people think of us. We should only be concerned with what God thinks of us.

God wants us to improve our relationship with Him… and improving ourselves in complete sincerity of self is how we do that. Our Christian walk is NOT about what others think of us and pleasing them; it is about what God thinks about us and pleasing Him…and that is all that matters. Be who you are in Him!

God wants the REAL us!  Look at the 3 points below that God wants from us.

1)    1. The (real) heart and mind of a person – behaviors and actions (this ties in with number 3)

2)    2. Fruits of who you are – True successes are from God, which is the fruit of our labor in Him – behavior and actions

3)    3. Spirit – Jesus’ Christ’s Spirit within you – Sincerity in behavior and actions

For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Acts 17:28

Don’t allow society and its failings to influence the beautiful person God created you to be. God wants your sincerity. Have you given God all of your being, or is society influencing you to be something you are not. Remember: we can only truly value who we are through the One who made us and set us apart for His purpose.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 13:12

May You Be Blessed in Him Today and Forever
Frank and Angie




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