Courtship in Preparation for Marriage
Heaven Ministries ~ Godly Courtship
the Person You Are?
For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)
Our heart and mind is much more
valuable to God than how we look and what we wear and what we do. Today
in the world there is too much value placed on appearances and what we
do. In fact, society
teaches that if you want to be something in this world you need to have
a certain size breast, we won’t go there, the perfect nose and chin, a
different hair color, and “oh my”, watch out for those wrinkles once
you hit 30-something! Society
is going nuts with plastic surgeries!
This kind of attitude might gain
you popularity with superficial types but it surely will not gain you
popularity with God. God
doesn’t care what you look like! He doesn’t care about your
clothing! He made you, so then how much more don’t you think He loves
you for just being YOU?
time someone changes their appearance, through plastic surgery, dying of
the hair, they are altering the way God made them to be.
They are changing Gods work! For
we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which
God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
The outside (appearances) of a
person is made up of three aspects
The way they look – how God made them to look
way they dress – clothes they wear and how they wear them
Show - appearances
The Inside of a person is also
made up of three aspects
(real) heart and mind of a person – behaviors and actions (this ties
in with number 3)
of who you are – True successes
are from God, which is the fruit of our labor in
Him – behavior and actions
– Jesus’ Christ’s Spirit within you – behavior and actions
The bible has a lot to say about
appearances so let’s get right into it. Scripture
clearly shows us that in our dress and habit(s) we should not behave in
any way, or wear anything that would dishonor Jesus Christ. But
let’s start with the way we look.
way we look – How God made us
It is understandable that if
someone had their face mauled by a monkey (this really happened) they
would need to have some surgery done to improve the way they look…but
what about all of the people changing their appearance who already look
good? There are people who don’t like their nose, chin, wrinkles, body
parts, etc and so they have plastic surgery. There is nothing sinful
about having plastic surgery but the thing is God made you the way you
are, hair color, nose, chin, body parts… and all.
seems to me that when we are not satisfied with the way God made us to
look then we can’t be satisfied within our spirit either.
You see, the way we think we
look and the way we feel about ourselves ties into together. It’s like
health. Total health is being fit
physically, emotionally (mentally) and spiritually.
If we don’t like the way we look on the outside then we
probably won’t feel too good about ourselves on the inside.
(This is our self-esteem—our ego—how we value the person that
God made us to be.)
And when we don’t feel good
about ourselves on the inside we tend to NOT put our trust with
God…but, well, with other gods such as plastic surgeons,
psychotherapists, psychologists…and we think these gods can make us
look better (feel better) than we do now and so maybe we’ll value
ourselves more and look good to other people.
to doctor-gods to change something about our facial features or to tell
us why we feel a certain way and to make us feel better from within is
not going to give us a better relationship with our Father who created
might feel better for a time with ourselves, but it will dissipate.
It will dissipate because it is a superficial
value based upon “how we look” or on how we “want to
But understand, no one, no matter
how many certificates they have on the wall can make us feel good about
who we are but God who made us!!! God is our healer and we must
put our TRUST in Him to heal us, not in other gods.
ourselves on the inside comes from God
he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be
strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man.
The most important aspect of our
Christian lives is to know that we are a part of God…we are His
children, no matter what age we are now…we
belong to God. God gives to those that do His will His spirit so we
can love Him, know Him, and trust Him, and not worry about what we look
like; or compare ourselves to what other people look like. We belong to God and we are to value ourselves as His child, just the
way we are, knowing God made us.
are Gods Temple?
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost
which is in you, which
ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For
ye are bought with a price: therefore
glorify God in your body, and
in your spirit, which are
Are we glorifying God when we
change the way He made us? How about when we dress inappropriately?
Very sadly, we live in a world
where the outside matters to people more than the actual person. This is
refelcted through popular magazines; in Hollywood movies; television;
cartoons; music; billboards;
schools; institutions; and many other popular culture
organizations and teachings.
should not allow these things to influence our relationship with God! We
should not be changing our appearance or behaving in ANY WAY that is
unbecoming just to gain attention from others.
Could it be that perhaps we try so hard to garner attention from certain
people that we displease God in the way we dress, in our actions and in
our mannerisms? Only you will know the answer to that but it is
something that we all need to think about.
If things of the world influence
us and keep us from TRUSTING in God then we should not patronize these
institutions, listen to the music, watch the shows, or read the
magazines. We have to decide WHO WE ARE. Do we belong to God, or do we
belong to the gods in the world?
Can We Please God?
*God cares about what we put
inside of our bodies (His temple) and how we behave in our dress and in
*God does not want us to harm our
health with poor diet, bad habits, etc…this harms God’s space that
resides inside of our body.
*God does not want us to dress in
ways that are inappropriate that attract the wrong kinds of attention.
This is how we end up erring in our Christ-centered walk.
*God does not want us to say or
behave in ways just to please others.
People say and do things for
“appearance sake” all the time and without even realizing they are
doing it because habits form and it becomes a lifestyle. But our
lifestyle should “be” about glorifying God who lives in us.
wants the real you, not the fake you, not the façade.
*God wants us to please Him with
our actions, dress and mannerisms. The point is God NEEDS to come first
in our lives, everything and everyone else is secondary to pleasing our
The way we dress … therefore glorify God in your body,
and in your spirit, which are
Read the above verse again and
reflect upon what it is saying. We are to glorify
God with our body. Are
we glorifying God with our body when we wear clothes that show our skin
parts that should only be shown to our spouses? Are we glorifying God
when we wear clothing so tight that it looks like it is painted on and
others can see the outline of our body parts? What are we trying to
accomplish by dressing in this way?
Many young women today, even
Christian women think they need to show cleavage, belly buttons, thighs,
etc, to attract a man. What they don’t realize is this way of dressing
will attract a man alright, the wrong man! Plus it will separate you
When we do something just to
“prove” something to others, or when we say something just to
pretend to be something we are not, we are not pleasing God but pleasing
ourselves and others. This is not being a sincere Christian but being something for
“appearance sake”. But God knows and sees all. He knows what is
really on the inside; He really knows what we are thinking and wanting
Remember we are specially created
TO GLORIFY THE FATHER in what we do and by what we say. We
have to work at being true to ourselves and work at being who we are
in Christ at all times, without worrying about what other people think
of us. We should only be
concerned with what God thinks of us.
wants us to improve our relationship with Him… and improving ourselves
in complete sincerity of self is how we do that. Our
Christian walk is NOT about what others think of us and pleasing them;
it is about what God thinks about us and pleasing Him…and that is all
that matters. Be who you are in
God wants the REAL us!
Look at the 3 points below that God wants from us.
(real) heart and mind of a person – behaviors and actions (this ties
in with number 3)
of who you are – True successes are from God, which is the fruit of
our labor in Him – behavior and actions
– Jesus’ Christ’s Spirit within you – Sincerity in behavior and
For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also
of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Acts 17:28
Don’t allow society and its
failings to influence the beautiful person God created you to be. God wants your sincerity. Have you given God all of your being, or
is society influencing you to be something you are not. Remember: we can only truly value who we are through the One
who made us and set us apart for His purpose.
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are
being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which
comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 13:12
May You Be Blessed in Him Today
Frank and Angie