Courtship in Preparation to Marriage
Ministries – November 2012
God Established Marriage to be for a lifetime!
leer este boletín
en español, haga clic
healthy marriage ALWAYS starts out with a friendship that is not sexual
and where there is no expectation to have sex. Today
there are many confused young people that believe “dating” and
everything that goes along with it is normal. Let me tell you this. It
is NOT normal to “go out on a date”, flirt around and then have sex
later on that day or in two days or in two months!
seems normal because it is what 95% of the population does before
getting married; it is what we have been taught. But as we can clearly
see with the high rates of unfaithfulness, lust addictions, and divorce
in marriage today, IT IS NOT WORKING!
only time that sex is appropriate is between a man and a woman that are
married to their first and only spouse. This
is the only time that sex is appropriate. Sex is a wonderful and
beautiful part of the marriage relationship and must only be shared
between two truly married people, a man and a woman. “Flee from
sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body”. (1 Corinthians
we are a society that bases everything we do on sex, which is lust-love
not pure-love. Divorce, even
in Latin American cultures is catching up to North America, which in the
good old USA divorce is at the top of the list for the most divorces in
the world. Here in Ecuador
divorce is much less prevalent but it is becoming more and more
people in the world ARE NOT Prepared for marriage!!
Marriage preparation takes a responsibility to God and most young
Christian people are not taught this accountability anymore.
happening is most Christian people of today are NOT prepared for
marriage because they
are in lust-love with their spouse,
not pure-love that comes from above.
love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that
which is good. Romans 12:9
are not taught to love properly. Christian
young men are
not taught by parents or in their churches to “respect” women.
And yet, ironically Gods word teaches that dads and other church
elders teach the young men how to treat a woman. It is God’s will for Christian men to love women, as they
were his sisters, with sisterly love and with absolute purity. (1
men of today have not been taught how to treat a young lady, or
receiving something from her would not be a priority. Society actually
enables men to disrespect women through lust thoughts and actions.
was the last time you watched a Hollywood movie where the guy and gal
said “no” to sex and they agree to wait until marriage. Shows on
television glamorize women who cheat on their husbands, and to be
politically correct, since feminism is all around us, the woman is
always in charge and the men debased. How does that make you feel? All
of this is depravity of the man/woman roles.
world that claims to be 90% Christian cannot be changed but YOU can
change yourself and begin to be more responsible to God! As
Christians we are accountable to God first and foremost. Without
that accountability we are not and cannot actually say we are a
line: we are not taught how to love others as Christ loved us. We are a
VERY confused Christian society that bases how we love others on how we
are treated by them and through our feelings, both of which are not
biblical. We have this belief that we have to receive something to love
and we have to feel something to love. But we are wrong!
young women are not taught to respect their husbands. And yet, ironically Gods word teaches that mothers and other older
married women teach the young women how a wife should behave. “…Then
they (older women and mothers) can train the young women to love their
husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, busy at home, to
be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, that no one will malign
the word of God.” (Titus
Are Responsible for Our Relationship with God
You are Responsible for Your Relationship with God!
We desperately NEED to stop relying on our parents, our
churches and the world to show us how to be a Christian. Obviously what
they think is a Christian is actually harming those who are
soul-searching for the truth. Your Christianity is up to YOU! No
one cares more about your spiritual health then you!!
people go to church and the church condones cultural dating as if it is
ok. Most people look at
cultural dating as something you must do before marriage but this is
hardly the case. “Dating” in the world today and its behaviors is
“lust” not “love”.
you MUST get to know the person you marry before you marry them
but not through giving away yourself emotionally or physically. You can
read more about Godly courtship in our free ebook called “How
to Prepare for a Rock Solid Marriage” on the home page.
men and women do NOT have to give away their hearts, minds, and bodies
to know someone. And…in fact this is the WRONG way to get to know
someone. Let me tell you why. When
two young people have sex BEFORE marriage they begin to base their love
on the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship instead of
truly “seeing” who the person is they are with. They begin to become
so emotionally and physically involved with each other that they DO NOT
AND CANNOT SEE CLEARLY to know the other person except through the lust
aspect of the relationship. This is why many young people today think
they are “in love” when they get married… and after so many months
or years say they have “fallen out of love” and end up divorcing.
But the truth is, “they
were never “in love” to begin with”, but “in lust”!!!
There is no “in
love” or “out of love” in relationships.
the ages we tend to use our words incorrectly, such as saying “I’m
not in love with my spouse anymore”. Or, “I’m not in love with my
boyfriend/girlfriend anymore.” But
if the relationship was based on sex, desires and lust then what people
mean to say is “I don’t feel lust or desire for my spouse
from Jesus Christ:
Love is a
choice (not a feeling)
Love is a
Love is an
To love means to act
We choose to love our spouse or not to love our spouse, even
when we don’t feel very loving towards them. Love, being a verb means
we “do” things to show our love. We must “act” on God’s
marriage precepts for our lives; this is our purpose as a husband or a
wife. God has given us roles to “act” on. (Ephesians
Don’t expect marriage to “feel good” all the time. But
TAKE YOUR ROLE WITH SERIOUSNESS AND BE THE HUSBAND OR WIFE GOD WANTS YOU
TO BE. This attitude starts out in the Godly courtship relationship.
The fact is, you cannot “fall out of love” you were never
in. People simply stop feeling
“in lust” and therefore think they are “not in love” with their
from the world:
desires thinking “it” is love
marriages are based on lust-love. Look at the four keys above. It starts
out innocent enough since everyone
dates and then of course, dating leads to sex and then come the
expectations and negative emotions rooted from the sexual aspect of the
relationship. This part is the lust-love.
negative emotions stem from how one “feels” about the other person
since having sex. You see, sex changes the whole dynamics of the
relationship...since having sex you now have expectations that were not there before.
Your feelings are different; you are now vulnerable since having sex,
which means you will feel jealousy, mistrust, anger, envy, and strife,
stress and so on and so forth, in this lust-love relationship…
someone truly loved you, as Christ teaches us how to love, they would
not intentionally harm you emotionally, spiritually or physically
through the lust act of sex. Point is, they would not expect. But
don’t you see, they are hurting you when they expect sex, or expect
anything from you that you yourself cannot, or do not give, or
reluctantly give. This
subject is all detailed out on the Godly
Please email Frank and me with your questions.
95% of young Christian people of today are not taught by their parents
and churches how to treat each other in preparation to marriage, we will
continue to see unfaithfulness, lust addictions, and divorce rates
skyrocket. The reality is,
we think that we are doing what is right when we “go to church” or
when we “go out on a date” but both of these are keeping us from
truly “growing in the pure faith of God laid out in His Holy Word. Teaching
us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly,
righteously, and godly, in this present world. Titus 2:12
Who Shows / Teaches You
How to be a Christian?
are responsible for your physical health, not doctors. Doctors do not
really care about your health. They prescribe medications to make you
“feel” better but in the long run it is only you that can take care
of your physical and mental health—only you!
But you do not wait until you’re sick with disease. No, you
must begin to take care of your health as soon as you can when you are a
teenager or younger. This is what makes you stronger as you get older.
the same way, you are responsible for your spiritual health, not
churches that do not make Jesus Christ the head of it. If Jesus Christ
is not the Master and Commander of your church then who is? They
prescribe a “feel good” sermon so you’ll keep coming back and
tithe but in the long run it is only you who can discover the truths
that are not being taught in the churches, such as how to treat (love)
others in your many different relationships. Don’t wait until you are
spiritually diseased; take care of your spiritual health today!
is all about our relationships with other people.
So it is VERY important for Christ-one’s to know how Christ
wants us to lead our relationships; starting
from our friendships to
courtships and from our neighborly love to our most precious marriages.
The whole bible teaches us how to love and treat others, and yet most
Christians do not “do” what the bible says.
James says, “Don’t
just listen to the word, do what it says!!
But be ye doers of the word, and not
hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (James 1:22) The
last part of this important message is what many are doing. They are
deceiving themselves! We
deceive ourselves (unbeknownst to us) by NOT doing the teachings of God.
We deceive ourselves by rebelling against God and His love for us! Did
you know the teachings of Jesus Christ are God’s love for us?!
you a Christian that “does” what the word says, or are you a
Christian that only appears to be a Christian?
commands that a woman to submit to her husband but most Christian wives
are in rebellion to this (Ephesians 5:24)
* Christ commands that a husband love his wife as He does the
church, but most Christian husbands are not getting it, or are in
rebellion (Ephesians 5:25)
*Christ commands that a wife respect (reverence) her husband but most
wives are disrespecting their husbands instead (Ephesians
* Mothers are told to teach their daughters how to behave and carry
themselves, but most mothers don’t know how to behave or carry
* Dads are told
to teach their sons and young men self-control but most Christian dads
don’t have self-control – Titus 2: 6-7
you a Christian that “does” what the word says, or are you a
Christian that only appears to be a Christian? Are we Christ-ones that
follow Jesus Christ, or do we only say we follow Jesus Christ and put
ourselves on the pedestal instead?
have to get serious about our relationships because God takes marriage
VERY serious and the best marriages ALWAYS start out with Godly
preparation leading up to marriage, not worldly preparation. The world
and its ideas cannot prepare young people for marriage because it has
already divorced itself from God.
Remember: what you see
going on in the world is not love but only what appears to be love.
Unless we’re actually “doing what the Word of God says for us to do,
we are only appearing to be good little Christians. Appearances can be
if you are also caught up in worldly things you will not see it, nor
understand this newsletter. Therefore
whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken
him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: Matthew 7:24
God Established Marriage to be for a lifetime! Are YOU Prepared?
In Jesus Christ
Frank and Angie
Heaven Ministries – Marriage Healing Ministry
Heaven Ministries – Godly
Courtship in Preparation for Marriage
Discover Cuenca Ecuador
© 2012 Heaven Ministries
To unsubscribe from Godly
Courtship and Marriage Preparation Newsletter, reply here with “unsubscribe” in the subject line.