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ASK Angie Where Does Chatting and Internet Fit in the Bible For Relationships? Articles Sexual Abstinence and Self-control Is it Infatuation or is it Love? Modest and
Stylish The Courtship
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How To Prepare For a Rock Solid Marriage ~ Scriptural Romance and Godly Courtship
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Where Does Chatting and the Internet Fit in the Bible For Relationships Ask
Angie: Just wanted to tell
you that I truly appreciate your site - the accurate biblical information
about courting, about love and intimacy, and what dating really is. I
always thought that dating was some shallow system that rose from a
over indulged society. Thank you for providing this
information for everyone to see. I would really like to know
where does chatting and internet communication fit in the bible and where
does it fit in when it comes to human relations, specifically courting and
getting to know someone? We had a discussion about the the
issues you presented in your site and someone asked about internet
courting. I never thought about that one. I do know what basic
communication research has to say about online getting-to-know-someone.
It says that it is not the best way to get to know someone. As your
article states, people can and will lie about who they are, and sometimes
it may not be intentionally, but somehow illusions have a way to set in,
especially in chatting. Marriage Preparation Guidance: The short answer is it does not fit in with the bible because the Internet had not been invented yet. But, we still can find sound, biblical principles that would discourage finding a spouse over the Internet. I think there is two parts to this issue. Part 1: is it ok to date or court online? Part 2: is it ok to date or court offline? I believe that it is NEVER a good idea to date offline or online because the word "date" signifies intimacy and sexual relations, which when doing so, without love or commitment can be detrimental to a person emotionally and spiritually, therefore causes problems in subsequent relationships. When people date they don't understand that they have a preordained mindset that goes along with dating that creates confusion for couples. The confusion is in the way we think and feel about the other person. Most couples when they date think they are "in love" when really it is only "lust and infatuation". Real love that Christ teaches would never harm another through disrespect of the body or mind. The core problem with dating is most people are confused between love and infatuation, hence when they "go out" they end up harming themselves through sin, which keeps them spiritually apart from God. Love gives to the other person, and helps them grow emotionally and spiritually, while lust and infatuation stunts our spiritual and emotional growth. Online dating is not a good idea. The emotional heartache that dating, online or offline creates can be irreparable. This is why we have started this marriage preparation ministry to encourage young people to respect themselves, to love God and others through having Godly relationships. The only thing that stops us from doing that is in our attitude. Love Needs Time to Develop and that is the attitude that COURTING teaches. So...there is a dating attitude and there is a courting attitude, both are totally different in their views, values and principles and way of doing things. Courting is getting to know someone. Godly courtship is getting to know how their relationship is with their parents, siblings, friends, and relationship with God. It is finding out what they do in their spare time, and it is sharing in the same kinds of activities. Can you truly find out the character of a potential spouse over Internet? I don't think you can. I think you can find friendships over the Internet through Christian forums and videos but true courting takes parents involvement or its not courting. Our Ebook "How to Prepare for a Rock Solid Marriage Explains in detail what scriptural romance is and how Godly courtship should be. Scripture is not silent on this. We have written on this subject before and here are several more articles that will offer more insight on this subject. Are Matchmaking Websites Really For You? Why Social Networking sites Can Be Dangerous
Sexual Abstinence and Self-Control For Christians sexual abstinence
is the best policy. I can think of many wonderful and perfectly sound
reasons to remain sexually abstinent until marriage, but the greatest
reason is because it pleases God; and, as Christ Ones pleasing God should
be our first priority. When we choose sexual abstinence
we will be making a choice to avoid sexual activities that could lead to
unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional stress
and heartache. The greatest blessing is it prepares us for a marriage
built on love and commitment rather than on feelings of what we think love
is. Sex is not love. Some people marry with the
attitude “if it doesn’t work out they can just get a divorce”. But
marriage to God is a serious matter and if marriage is serious to God, the
Creator of marriage then we should make it serious to us. Sexual abstinence teaches us
about the beauty of commitment to marriage. When we are not occupied with
emotions and feelings of the intimate nature with someone we care about,
it gives us a chance to see them for who they really are and work on a
lasting relationship that is built on devotion and love to one another. Sexual abstinence teaches us
self-control during times of temptation. We will all become tempted at
some time or other in our lives, but not all of us give into our
temptations. God lets us know that He is faithful; he will not let us be
tempted beyond what we can bear. He will provide a way out so we can stand
up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13) This
is great news! Practicing self-control during
times of temptation makes us stronger and wiser in God because it builds
character and determination to do what’s right as Christians. Sexual
abstinence teaches us to look at the inner beauty of a person rather than
only what’s on the outside and what we can receive sexually from
someone. It teaches us to wait on God! The truth is, when dating
couples spend so much time and energy on outside beauty they miss out on
seeing the true beauty of a person. Why do some people not care about what
is on the inside? They do not care about what is on the inside because
they have no commitment or love to seek out the inside of a person; all
they do care about is getting their selfish desires met. Many young women today think
that if they have sex with their boyfriends that their boyfriends will
love them more, or they will never leave them. But nothing is further from
the truth. Sex does not preserve a relationship. Having sex with your
boyfriend will not make him stay with you. In fact, any guy with any
amount of commitment to marriage and love for God will like the fact that
the girl he wants to get to know better wants to wait until marriage. Good guys will not try and have
sex with you; Good guys will respect you for wanting to stay pure until
marriage. Good guys will want to get to know you even more when they see
that you are a self-controlled, Godly woman and that is what really
matters. If you have made the mistake of
having sex before marriage, God will forgive you. It doesn’t make you a
bad person; it means you were once confused about God’s intention for
relationships and now you are not. Let God renew your heart and mind about
your purpose in relationships. It’s never too late to bring God’s
moral precepts into your life and let His loving principles lead your
relationships. “Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) top Is
it Infatuation or is it Love? How will you know if you are
really in love or if it is just infatuation? Love is an action and
infatuation is a feeling. Love, unlike infatuation and lust take
commitment and devotion to a person. This is because when we truly love
someone it takes self-sacrificing behaviors and attitude. When you love someone you
wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or her. If you’re not married
you wouldn’t try to incite passion within her and she would not flirt
with and excite him. These actions come from the feelings that infatuation
creates. If we constantly obsess about a person we are in a relationship
with, morals will take a backseat and we will get our lustful desires met
through sexual relations. Having
sex outside of the “one flesh” of marriage creates delusion and wrong
attitudes within a couple and keeps the relationship from developing into
love. They may truly think they are “in love” and this misconception
can create havoc later on when one of them decides they are not infatuated
any more with the other. Unbeknownst
to both of them, they have already disrespected each other through the
sexual act because there is no love and commitment.
When a relationship is supported only by feelings of infatuation,
it won’t last. Once infatuation dissipates the relationship dissipates
along with it. Its important to note, that we
are human and we will have feelings of lust and desire but we also have
been given self-control to not harm ourselves and those we care about in
our relationships. God has given us the free will to choose
self-discipline or lack of it. He is not going to stand over us with a
paddle telling us what we can and cannot do because He already has. Where
is our faith to believe that what God says for us is true? By the way, the
paddle comes later, maybe much later, but it will eventually come. What we think about in our
attitude and how we view life and what we believe in precedes what we will
do and act on. If we
constantly dwell on lust desires, we’ll eventually act upon them.
Infatuation urges us to have sex, while loving someone would put desires
and lust feelings aside so we can truly get to know the person we are in
relationship with. Two unmarried people should not incite passion and lust
within each other. God made fornication a sin because he knew it harms
people emotionally, spiritually and sometimes physically. Jesus says to not even look at
another with feelings of lust because it is emotional adultery—it is
adultery of the heart. For the unmarried it is lust that when not
controlled becomes sin in our lives. Fornication, adultery and lust
addiction controls the people we are intended to be for God. Having sex
before marriage actually keeps us from maturing emotionally and
spiritually in God’s love and forgiveness. We cannot have a personal
growing relationship with Jesus and commit sin at the same time—its
impossible. “It is God’s will that you
should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each
of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and
honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;
and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage
of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sin. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7) Love, on the other hand, waits.
Love is patient and kind. Love is NOT self-seeking, which is what sex
before marriage is. (1 Corinthians 13:4) If a guy or gal continually wants
to have sex with you then it is not love but infatuation. Love does no
harm to others. Intimacy and sex are both a beautiful part of life, in
marriage. But anything else brings on spiritual and emotional problems
for people in subsequent relationships. As Christians we should never
entertain or compromise with sinful ideas and practices just because
everyone else is doing it. Christ Ones are to not blend in with people
around them. Christians are the spotted lambs who stand out from the crowd
in their action beliefs. If we are a part of God’s family in His kingdom
of heaven we need to live up to God’s standard of morality and not
condone immoral behavior even if society accepts it. How are we serving
God if we are one with the culture? To sum this up: Hebrews 13:4
clearly lets us know that marriage is the only honorable way to have
sexual relations, and that any other way, whether it is through
adultery, fornication, or lust addiction, is condemned by God. How are we
pleasing God in our relationships when we are disobeying God’s moral
precepts for our relationships? “Marriage should be honored by
all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and
the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4) It's not wrong to appreciate a beautiful woman or man but what makes it wrong is when we look to receive (disrespect) something from that beauty because we think it belongs to us. How selfish is that?! At this point it becomes lust and wrong desire. These desires can cause many emotional problems for young people and those who are thinking of getting married. Modest
and Stylish Swimwear for Ladies It's that time of year again. Sunning at the pool, picnics at the beach and swimming at the lake. So where can a young lady find a modest, pretty and comfortable bathing suit? How about "Simply Modest"? They have tasteful and modest swimwear for all ages of women; hand sewn and custom made to order! Modest Christians do not want to wear those skimpy bathing suits that show most of their body parts. They also don't want to wear heavy shorts and t-shirts that drag them down, which take several hours to dry. Simply Modest has the answer. They have beautiful fabrics to choose from that are light, bright and comfortable just as it should be when swimming. If you care about modesty and comfort then check out these beautiful swimsuits. You can now have a one-of-a-kind swimsuit tailored to your needs and tastes. You choose the fabric, size, style and cut and they will do the rest!
Our Kingdom Living and Courtship Forums Need Your Action! We have several new members on the forums but still no one is posting! I think that once someone starts to post, more will soon follow. You may start a new thread or reply to some of the posts that are already on there. If you don't see a thread that interests you, please contact me (Angie) and I will be happy to add any topics that will help encourage young people in their spiritual growth with Christ. Thanks for your readership. A. :-)
In Christ,
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God wants for
us to
seek romance and have a life spouse to love and care for, but not at
the expense of our mind or body. God's plan for the Christian is
exactly the opposite of what most believers seek when looking for
their soul mate. This Ebook will
show you how to prepare for a lifetime marriage.