|
Heaven
Ministries visit the Godly Courtship Forums |
|
|
|
Articles
How To Prepare For a Rock Solid Marriage ~ Scriptural Romance and Godly Courtship
God wants for us to seek romance and have a life spouse to love and care for, but not at the expense of our mind or body. God's plan for the Christian is exactly the opposite of what most believers seek when looking for their soul mate. This Free Ebook will show you how to prepare for a lifetime marriage.
How Should a Husband Love His Wife and a Wife Her Husband
We have not been taught to love without
dissimulation. (Romans 12:9)
|
Let Love Be Without Dissimulation (Romans 12:9) What does “let love be without dissimulation”
mean? It means that when we love we are to do it with sincerity of heart,
mind, and spirit. Anything else is not love but lust. If a young man on
his third date wants to have sexual relations because he feels something
for the young girl, this is lust, not love. If and when this couple
decides to get married based on the way they feel towards each other it is
not love because they did not love one another to begin with. Instead they
lusted after one another through the sexual relationship. Dissimulation means to disguise (one's intentions,
for example) under a feigned appearance, or to conceal one's true feelings
or intentions. When we walk into new relationship wanting something from
the other, which includes sex then it is not love, and we are disguising
our true appearance. When we walk into marriage thinking “what’s in it
for me” then we conceal our true intentions. Most couples walk into
marriage in these ways and this is why there is so much unhappiness in
marriage and divorce!! Love The One You Marry Scripture tells us to “love the one we marry” not
marry the one we (think) we love. If couples were properly prepared for
marriage they would understand what it means to love the one they marry,
which means total commitment to the marriage. But to marry the one we
(think) we love is lust, hence, the feelings of lust wear off and couples
commit infidelities and have many issues, such as jealousy, control
issues, possessiveness, etc, etc. These things are not love! Let love be
without (dissimulation) these things. Love which comes from our Creator is what is called
unconditional love, hence “love the one you marry.” God loves
you no matter what you have done, for this reason He came to earth in the
form of the man, Jesus Christ to “show us” how to love. Many of us
choose to pass up this wonderful and awesome gift by choosing to put
conditions on how we will love. When we stop to ponder who Jesus is we see
this forgiving, sacrificial, unconditional nature that few can follow
because they themselves have not yet received it. We must die to our
selfish nature before we can love others properly. God loves us in this way but we humans must put in
effort to love others without dissimulation, and many of us can’t love
without dissimulation because we’re too selfish, rebellious and stubborn
to follow the path that leads to love. Unfortunately, most couples when
they marry don’t realize how serious of an issue “marriage” is to
God. They go into marriage thinking they are in love with the person they
are marrying. But if they divorce when troubles come butting their little
horns in the marriage, it means they have no commitment to finish what
they started because the marriage was based upon their feelings of lust,
not the commitment to love their spouse till death do them part. When we
marry the one we (think) we love the marriage has no foundation of love as
its support. Trouble comes and the marriage cannot stand. This is NOT
love. Dating in Christian society is lust and many people
are being deceived. In essence they have confused the feelings of lust and
desire to be love. Most young people are not educated about what marriage
is, and or prepared for a lifetime marriage. If they knew that God expects
them to “love the one they marry” there would be no dissimulation and
this is because commitment has no room for false intentions or concealment
of ones feelings, because how one feels does not matter when there is
commitment. Love is a Choice
Hi Angie, ******* Heaven Ministries Response Thank you for your comments. Our warnings for young women are very well-founded. Anytime we allow our daughters to roam around by themselves we are putting them in danger of becoming attacked, raped, and or murdered. One girl getting raped or murdered is one too many. Our point is why play Russian Roulette with our daughters life? We're not saying there is a bunch of bad guys out there waiting, lurking, watching, but there are a few bad guys out there. Why not protect our daughters / wives instead? Bad people that attack young girls are usually males. Women do not usually attack or rape other women. We very much realize how slanted the media can be, more than anyone, but the fact still remains, women who are vulnerable will be at higher risk of being attacked by a male predator, and that's what we are saying. We agree some husbands are abused by their rebellious wives and some wives are abused by their rebellious husbands. The fact is, couples emotionally abuse one another because they are not living God's marriage design for them. You're right, the media usually depicts the wife as the victim, while many women can be more emotionally abusive than their husbands. Most television shows depict the women as leaders, bosses, and dominates over the male, while the men submit. It's a farce!! Women often belittle their husbands and treat them like one of the children, etc, etc, etc. It's totally brain-washing for young women and men who are not yet married. "Turn off Your TV's!" Understand, I'm not talking about domestic violence such as battered wives here either because that is a different story altogether. I'm talking about emotional abuses between husbands and wives. We live in feministic society, which is very unfortunate and the cause of much of the marital unhappiness and divorce we see today. As far as your comments on rape we also pretty much agree with you there but you are missing one very important element of why this happens. We must keep ourselves spiritually fit and place ourselves under God's principles and direction for our life instead of allowing ourselves to be in circumstances that could and will be construed as inappropriate behavior by us. The other side of the story here is, men who are accused of false charges put themselves in these situations! As an example, Most of the false rape charges against men, brought on by women, such as the Duke Lacross players of NC, are because of their own ignorance and hanging around with questionable men and women. The accused Duke players were partying at a sorority house getting drunk, doing drugs, and hanging out with strippers and prostitutes. When you hang around with questionable people who drink, get drunk, and have no moral values and convictions I think you are putting yourself at risk of being accused of wrong-doing. You can read the story here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_case Would a young man be accused of rape if he is at a function where there was no booze, drugs, rock and roll and loose women? I think not. Why? Because bad people stay away from good places, for the most part. Or, at least the chances of false accusations is almost nil. The bottom line is "Birds of the same feather will hang together". Therefore, they do it to themselves!! It's by no means right, but people have to start taking responsibility for what they do with their life. Did you know that Billy Graham Senior never ever allowed himself in a room, alone, with another woman, unless it was his wife? He said this to the public during one of his sermons. Now why do you think that is? It is because accusations do and will happen. If a man puts himself in a position where he is vulnerable, bad people will play on that vulnerability. A man should not put himself in a situation where that can happen. If we are truly good people with morals and values, wanting to do the will of God, we would not be hanging around ungodly people or places that could place wrong accusations against us. You can read the story here: http://www.travisagnew.org/?p=958 In another instance is of a man who vacationing in another country, hired a prostitute and she stole his wallet. Now he has no money, no ID, and no credit cards. But perhaps God is letting him know and other men that when we place ourselves in positions that are not conducive to right Christian living bad things may happen. Now, when you really think about this closely, you will see that in every single case where the man was wrongly accused of raping a woman, or other false accusation, he was hanging out with the wrong kind of woman, and or in the wrong place. It was not the wrong time, it was just the wrong place. People like to say " I was at the
wrong place at the wrong time" but reality is, he should never have
been there in the first place. Just like the young woman who is walking
home from college alone and gets raped, or the woman whose car breaks down
on a lonely stretch of road and she is brutally murdered, perhaps she
should never have been there (alone) in the first place. Nine times out
of ten of these instances, we can keep ourselves from being accused of
wrong-doing, or from bad
things happening to us. We have to take responsibility for what we do with
our life. God
Bless!
Heaven Ministries ~ Scriptural Romance in Preparation to Marriage Living Frugal,
Happy and Free Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing
Ministry Marriage Healing
Video's Family Life Video's
Copyright
© 2002 - 2011 Heaven Ministries To unsubscribe from the Heaven Ministries Marriage
Preparation Newsletter Click
here |
Heaven
Ministries ~ Godly Courtship in 
