Let's Talk About Christian Courtship
What do you think? Is it old fashioned to walk up
to a young woman’s home that you would like to get to know, meet her
parents and be asked to come in to the home to play scrabble or monopoly with her
family? If you would rather
be doing something else with her, than you shouldn’t be there at all.
If a Christian man truly wants to get to know a woman for the prospect
of possible marriage, does he need to have sex with her?
“You are not your own; you were bought at a
price. Therefore honor God with your body”. (1 Corinthians 6:20)
Having Sex Before Marriage is Not God's Intent
Is it old fashioned to remain pure until you’re
married to the man or woman you have learned to love through the
courtship process? Does it feel wrong to respect and value the person
you’re going to marry by making sure they do not sin against their own
body? Having sex before marriage is not what God intended for
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a
man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against
his own body”. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Why are Christians falling along the wayside,
disregarding moral character and values to give in to their sexual lusts
and desires? It is because of peer pressure – the world is pressuring
young people to have sex – enabling them to have sex before marriage.
The world scoffs at God’s principles and rebellion has set in.
Understand that what is against the teachings of Christ for the
Christian is rebellious in nature.
They said to you, “In the last times there will
be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the
men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have
the Spirit. But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy
faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as
you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal
life”. (Jude 18-21)
Churches, ministries, leaders, teachers, and
parents should be offering solutions to the sexual quandary of dating
that is corrupting the culture of society. There is so much sexual/lust
pollution filtering through all the different forms of media today that
the practice of having sexual relations (dating) at the age of fourteen
seems almost normal. Teenagers are getting pregnant at the age of
Don't You Want to be Respected?
What about the safe and honorable practice of
courtship? As a Christian young woman today, wouldn’t you rather be
respected and valued for the person God made you to be than just another
body to have sex with? When we take away Christ’s principles of love,
and replace them with lustful feelings of desire, it confuses people
into believing that it’s ok to sexually and emotionally abuse one
another through the dating process. Society has confused sex and lust
with love! But that’s not love – you have been deceived!
Courtship does not have the trappings of sex
associated with it. When a man courts a woman it is because he wants to
get to know her for who she is – not for what she can give him.
He is already prepared to NOT have sex with her. He wants to
respect and value her for the woman God created her to be. He wants to
get to know her better because his future depends on it. There is
nothing old fashioned about courtship – it is how God intended it to
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified:
that you should avoid sexual immorality”. (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
The Pressure to Have Sex
In the dating relationship a young man or woman is
trapped into having sex! In fact, it is a given they will have
sex. They are literally trapped. Its like two spiders stuck in the web
and they can’t get out until they finally give up and give in. The
trap is the pressure of society pushing them into having sex.
Courtship involves principled actions of
love. It does not involve sexual relations but teaches how to respect,
honor, and commit to one another for the preparation of marriage. In
essence, courtship is a word that has been applied to describe the
biblical basis for the relationship leading up to marriage and is found
in the bible through Mary and Joseph. Not only did Mary and Joseph court
one another they were betrothed (engaged) for several years before they
actually got married! During the betrothal there is no physical contact until the
wedding; betrothal is the groundwork for spiritual and emotional
maturing and caring for one another on the Christ-like principles of
Copyright 2008 – Angie Lewis – Heaven