How to Prepare for a Rock Solid Marriage
The No-No's of Social Networking and Dating Websites

Why Online Dating and Social Networking Sites Are Not Suited For Christians

Why Social Networking Sites Can Be Dangerous

Are Match-Making Websites 
Really For You?

10 Reasons Why Sincere Christians Shouldn't Date

How a Sincere Christian Should Find Their Soul Mate

Listen to the words “matchmaking”. How often is someone really matched up with a compatible partner? Dating and matchmaking websites are for those people who are putting their trust in those mediums rather than in God.

For the sincere Christian matchmaking online websites don't make sense. They go against everything that God has planned for the Christian person. Loneliness and fear often lead people to patronize these social networking sites looking for companionship and love, but many times these sites don't offer anything of the sort.

If you are a true believer you should be trusting in God for your emotional  needs rather than patronizing online matchmaking websites? God does hear your prayers and He will answer them on His time and in the way He feels is right for you and your life. 

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit. (Titus 3:3-5)

What do you think God's will is for you and your emotional uncertainties? Scripture clearly explains to us that God would like for us to go to Him with our fears and anxious heart. If we are in God we will have NOTHING to fear because God will make our hearts be at peace with our life, whether we are single or not.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received a Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, "Abba Father." (Romans 8:15)

Believe me, God certainly does not want you to make the mistake of finding your soul mate online. most of the time a person does not even know who they are talking with. People can lie, and tell you all kinds of things to reel you in, and then later you become disappointed big time because he or she is not what you expected. Why do this to yourself?

Scripture suggests to stop worrying about being single and stop the struggle within yourself to find a spouse today and tomorrow. Wait on God by giving it to God. Trust in God for your needs and pray about it daily. 

Are You Really Ready For a 
Relationship and or Marriage? 

Are you even ready for marriage or for a relationship? Here it what has been revealed to us through the scriptures. If you aren't ready to make a commitment to marriage then you are not ready for a intimate relationship.

5 Reason Why You Aren't Ready For a Relationship or Marriage

You’re Lonely – Did you know that we make ourselves feel lonely by the thoughts we tell ourselves? Loneliness is a feeling that fades when we occupy ourselves with activities we love and when we make our relationship with God grow stronger.   Trust in God and He will provide you with everything you need. 

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" (Mark 4:40)

You Feel Needy and Insecure – If you feel that a relationship is going to take care of your needs or you want to feel more confident about yourself through someone else, then think again.  

Only God can provide the emotional encouragement through His Words of Love and His Holy Spirit to make us feel secure and at peace with ourselves.

You’re Desperate for Love - Feelings only make us think we are desperate. We may see all of our friends with romantic relationships and think we want the same thing, but if we get close to God and pray about it, He will stop our anxiousness and allow us to “Be Still” and wait on Him.

Unhappy – Happiness is NEVER found through others—it is only found from within. What ways, besides getting involved in an emotional relationship can you provide yourself with happiness? I can think of ten ways right off the top of my head and so can you.

You’re Younger Than Nineteen – Preparation for marriage means wisdom and knowledge in the Lord. Make sure that you know exactly what you are getting into when you decide to get married. Your faith and trust in God will make the most difference to your preparedness for marriage? Are you really ready?  

It may seem like God is trying to keep people from having relationships but that is not the case at all. God's will is for you to have many relationships in the Lord. Online dating and social networking sites are not in the Lord, but in the world. Sincere Christians are not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers. 

God wants His people to find romance with the one they will marry. Romance without love and commitment is nothing.

to find out what God's plan is for your romantic life see our new Ebook on Scriptural Romance and Godly Courtship. 

 

Most of us have grown up thinking that dating is normal and something that people do to meet others for the possibility of marriage. The Christian culture of today promotes dating, but it wasn’t always so. “Dating” is not scriptural and in fact, scripture clearly reveals the opposite of the dating attitude when meeting people for relationships and possible marriage. Let’s take a look why dating is not for the sincere Christian.

Dating Leads to Sex But Not Commitment

Dating most often leads to sex and then eventual heartbreak. Dating hurts young people because it is a false sense of hope that almost always leads to emotional heartache and physical impurity. With dating the risk of having sexual relations with a person you really don’t know is paramount. I say risk because sex means nothing without love and commitment. Think about it. For the sincere Christian dating should be out of the question, don’t you think?

Dating Defrauds (fornication) One Another’s Body

For the Christian each time they have sex with a new person they are being defrauded and you are defrauding the other person as well. God’s desire for sincere Christian people is not to have sex (fornication) before marriage. It is a sin just like adultery is a sin. Scripture clearly and plainly says that young Christian people are not to defraud one another sexually or emotionally—they are to be different than the gentiles who do not know God.           

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification (set apart), that ye should abstain from fornication.

That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel (body) in sanctification and honour.

Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the gentiles which know not God.

That no man go beyond (arouse sexual lust in another) and defraud his brother in any matter: because the Lord is the avenger of such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.”  

Dating Mistakes the “Attraction and Desire Feelings” for Love

How often have you desired someone so much that you thought you were “in love” with them. You were so attached to them emotionally with your feelings that you thought they were “the one” for you? This happens all the time with Christian people. They get married and think they will live happily ever after. But wait! What happens when the feelings of desire and lust are gone, then what? I’ll tell you what. Couples are unhappy in their marriage and commit infidelities of all kinds. Their whole marriage was based on FEELINGS rather than LOVE. This is not God’s will for the sincere Christian.

Dating Skips the Friendship/Respect Stage of a Relationship

The Knight in shining armor comes prancing through the door. The lovely princess is the most breathtaking beauty you have ever seen. What happens next based on these ga-ga feelings? Couples give away their hearts, their minds, theirs souls, and their bodies to each other based on sexual feelings. They defraud one another through stealing emotions and bodies that do not belong to them.

Sex means nothing without love and commitment. How well do couples really know the person they are getting intimate with? God’s plan for young people is to love one another as brothers and sisters in the Lord and build friendships based on respect, not sex.  Your body and mind belong to God. Sex is reserved for the marriage bed. The sexual, intimate, emotional bonding of two people in the Lord is the “one flesh” of marriage. 

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price (Christ’s death). Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 618) 

Dating Isolates You From Others

Once the emotional bond begins neither party cares about anyone else. Throughout the day when away from each other, they only want to be with each other and are on cloud nine in the thoughts and imaginings of what the other is doing. In respect to the people who really matter in their life such as parents, relatives and real friendships, they are all put on hold while the couple waits in eager anticipation of when they will meet up again sexually and emotionally with one another.  

My goodness they will certainly feel a lot of pain and heartache when one of them breaks off the relationship.

Dating Distracts People From What Really Matters

Dating, because of its sexual and emotional intentions distracts Christian people from what is really important for them. Namely, God and preparing for their future in the Lord. They are so focused on the happenings of each other that nothing else matters to them, not even staying pure for God and marriage. It is God’s will that young Christian people who are sincere in the Lord, put their feelings on hold and not allow themselves to be pressured into emotional relationships without commitment.

Dating Deceives Each Other From Seeing True Character

This is exactly what happened to biblical Samson. (Read the story here). He couldn’t see through his own passionate lust to see that Delilah was only using him. In the end his lustful desires cost him his life. Delilah’s true character was that of being a deceitful woman who only cared about herself.

“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life” Proverbs 6:25

It works the other way around to. Young Christian women can also be deceived by men who say they are a believer in Jesus Christ when they really are not—this has happened before. Don’t let your passions and desires deceive you and not see someone’s true character. Be patient and ask God to help you recognize someone’s true character. Eventually fruit of the Spirit will be apparent, or maybe not.

Dating Prepares Christians For Divorce

Why society got the notion that dating prepares people for marriage, I have no clue. But somehow through the ages, people believe that “dating” is how you get to know someone and in some instances advocate having sex before marriage to see if couples are compatible in that way. This is preposterous!

I’ll tell you what has been revealed to me through scripture and from our marriage healing website, which we have counseled couples for several years: Dating prepares people to rely on their emotions. When the passions and desires die down couples just get a divorce and find a new mate.

“They said to you, “In the last times (today’s culture) there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.

But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.” (Jude 18:21)

Dating Takes Christians Away From What is Right and Pure in the Lord

Do you understand now why God forbids fornication? When our emotions get so caught up with worldly pleasures, such as dating, God is not important to us anymore and we begin to rebel and scoff at Him and His commands for our lives. God wants young people to place Him as the most important aspect of their life so they can base their life actions from that relationship.

“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22)

For the Christian to have a great marriage means to have a great relationship with Jesus Christ. You must be willing to serve and care for your spouse even more than you care for yourself. This attitude of service in both the husband and the wife will allow for the marriage to prosper and flourish with blessings.

God did not sanctify (set apart) marriage for spouses to be selfish with one another. Good grief, no! Marriage was created and instituted for God’s purpose—your marriage belongs to God. Marriage is a living symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.

As a Christian if you believe that you are ready to care for and commit your life to another in the “ways of the Lord” then the next step is to find friendships in the Lord and wait on God. Be still with your emotions. Don’t let your emotions rule the relationship. That means you have to get dating and the attitudes that are associated with dating completely out of your mind. Dating is not for the sincere Christian to partake in.

Find Friends With Common Interests and Beliefs

God will make aware to you, if you are “still” with your emotions, a suitable man or woman in the Lord. Christian single people should not have intimate attachments with others (date), but rather they should search for like-minded Friendships in the Lord through common interests and beliefs. 

These common interests might be a church activity, sporting event, school function, musical concert, project or hobbyists event, or a community play; etcetera. At this event you can meet other Christian people that share in the same interest as you. Then you can become friends with them because of that common interest, not because of anything else, such as receiving something from them.

This friendship should not progress to anything further than getting to know each other based on respect. In other words, your feelings for this person do not lead and control your actions but rather follow your actions, where they are kept in check.  

Be Discerning With Your Friendships

You should be very discerning with any friendships you would like to pursue further and possibly for a marriage candidate. Carefully examining a persons character is something a smart Christian will do before allowing the progression of any relationship to be more than just casual friends.

The main goal in any new friendship is not to allow your feelings to control the relationship. Keep God always your main focus as the relationship develops.  If you feel that you are unable to keep your emotions in check for this person then you must pray about it and ask God to give you the direction you need.

Be Still With Your Emotions

Be still with your emotions and wait on God. God will certainly let you know if this person is the one to make a lifelong commitment with. The only time you should allow your emotions to take over and give your heart to another is “after” you have made the commitment to marry and are betrothed (engaged).

God wants young people to remain emotionally pure before marriage just as He wishes them to remain sexually pure. Mary and Joseph were betrothed for a couple of years before they actually got married but they both knew that soon they would be married and because of that they most likely gave each their hearts.

Sexual intimacy should be reserved for the big wedding day. This is God’s will for the sincere Christian. I don’t think you will ever regret saving yourself for the man or woman you will spend a lifetime caring for and loving. It is the way of the Lord and many blessings will surely come your way. 

 




 

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